(Closed) When he promises To propose/marry you

posted 11 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Did he keeps his promise to propose by a certain time?

    yes he proposed by the time he said he would

    no he postponed but eventually proposed

    no he didn't propose by the time he said he would and i left

    he never proposed

  • Post # 32
    Member
    4090 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @Claudia30:  We MUTUALLY discussed when we’d like to get engaged (we had this talk over a year before the proprosal).  We felt it was very important to be on the same page about where the relationship was going.  We agreed upon and planned for “Spring 2011” because:

    a) we’ll be dating nearly 3 years at that point (we felt that was a good length of time and would be ready to be engaged then)

    b) I’ll be all done with my Master’s coursework (I did not want to get engaged, move in with someone while taking classes)

    c) I will be ready to sell my house and move in after that long (I wasn’t a year prior).

     

    So that was our plan.  I only new March 21-June 20 basically – Spring 2011!  He proposed on May 28, 4 days after my 35th birthday and 4 weeks after classes ended.  it all worked out!

    Post # 33
    Member
    45 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    We agreed a time frame, his time frame was longer than mine for good financial reasons. I respected his time frame, and then proposed to him once I knew he felt happy with where we were in life. We did a *lot* of talking about how we wanted our lives to be how they would need to be before we could commit to and engagement, I would not have proposed if he hadn’t felt comfortbale with it.

    I know he would have proposed in August of this year had I not asked first, but I wanted to be the one to ask the question.

    Post # 34
    Member
    47 posts
    Newbee

    I was with my ex for 3 years. I thought for sure we were going to get married because I could not picture myself with anyone else. I think I only started talking about how it was something I wanted during the end of the second year after we had been living together for a while. He would never want to talk about it and he would make me feel like I was just some naggy annoying girlfriend. The only time he would say he would marry me was when we would get into fights. I tried to leave him several times, but when I really tried to stay away, he would say he wanted to marry me and then when I would bring it up again he openly admitted he just said it to get me back.

    I finally got sick of his crap and decided to move on. I found someone a lot faster than I thought I would (within 6 mo.) we have now been together for 9 mo. and he has already told me on his own (with no pressure from me) that he sees us getting married one day when he has enough money.

    One think I ended up learning is that there were so many red flags in my old relationship (sure there were good things too but that is not enough), we fought like crazy and were on and off, he cheated, he had been abusive, and I actually felt really sad whenever I actually thought about our relationship, no wonder he would not actually propose, it would have been aweful. So I think it is important that you ask yourself if you do have a genuinely good relationship with a guy who just happens to have cold feet about marriage, or is he not proposing because there are serious relationship issues that you need to work through before that is a reality. Also is he worth the wait? 

    Post # 35
    Member
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    in 2010 he got drunk and told someone he was going to propose by christmas and he said it 3 times and I heard him. it didnt happen lol still hasnt 

    Post # 36
    Member
    6458 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Anyone know if Claudia got engaged???

     

    My fiance and I had a discussion about getting engaged about a year ago, and I thought he said something like, “In the fall,” but I was wrong…and then in November he measured my finger all scientifically and was like, “Don’t worry about it!” lol.  Then he dropped hints he would propose on opening day at Yankee Stadium!!!!!!  I was so nervous also because I knew I would be skipping work to go and didn’t want to get caught haha.  He proposed on our vacation the week before that, though.  So I had to wait FOREVER but it was worth it.

    Post # 37
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee

    @Claudia30:  You know, try being with someone for nearly 15 years and having 3 kids together, living together and No Marriage.  Embarrassing and hurtful.  If he hasn’t done it, he probably won’t.  Just wondering if your guy ever did.  If he did, awesome!  congrats.  If not, get out of it.

    I separated from this man for about 8 years but actually got back with him, trusting that he had changed because he said everything that I wanted to hear.  Oh yeah, we will be a family finally and oh I should have married you.  I want you forever and always, no one else ever, only you.  I want to marry you.  Well BS!!!!  We have been together over 3 years AGAIN (totalling 18 years now), and I am left looking like an idiot.  I love him and I feel trapped. I had to change my attitude about it and tell him that I just don’t care, it’s only a piece of paper.  Whatever!  Well, it bothered him to hear that but do you think he changed it and proposed, actually made it happen?  NO!  I am an idiot, but stuck.  Weak maybe?  Either way, it is one thing to talk the talk, but man, can you walk the walk!!!!

    Post # 38
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee

    @Misstiff:  

    You know, try being with someone for nearly 15 years and having 3 kids  together, living together and No Marriage.  Embarrassing and hurtful.   If he hasn’t done it, he probably won’t.  Just wondering if your guy ever  did.  If he did, awesome!  congrats.  If not, get out of it.

    I separated from this man for about 8 years but actually got back with him,  trusting that he had changed because he said everything that I wanted to  hear.  Oh yeah, we will be a family finally and oh I should have married  you.  I want you forever and always, no one else ever, only you.  I  want to marry you.  Well BS!!!!  We have been together over 3 years  AGAIN (totalling 18 years now), and I am left looking like an idiot.  I  love him and I feel trapped. I had to change my attitude about it and tell him  that I just don’t care, it’s only a piece of paper.  Whatever!  Well,  it bothered him to hear that but do you think he changed it and proposed,  actually made it happen?  NO!  I am an idiot, but stuck.  Weak  maybe?  Either way, it is one thing to talk the talk, but man, can you walk  the walk!!!!

    Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/when-he-promises-to-proposemarry-you?replies=36#post-6236628#ixzz2adqLcolo

    Post # 39
    Member
    2567 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    We talked and waited and talked and waited some more.  Eventually, I had to decide how long I was willing to be in a relationship with someone and NOT be married.  For me, that number was 6 years.  So I told my SO that he had to propose before we hit our 6-year anniversary.  There wasn’t an “or else” or anything like that.  I knew we were headed for the altar.  I just couldn’t live with a big question mark any longer.  He proposed after 5 years, 2 months, and 2 days of dating.  🙂

    Post # 40
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee

    @Essy 

    Nope, my mental “date” has come and gone with no ring or even the slight mention of getting closer to purposing to me. I’m super frustrated and starting to get resentful. Have things turned around for you two? My other ½ is just focused on us buying a house next year, I told him I will not buy a house with him unless a significant step forward with our relationship is made. My children and I have just given up on the idea that he will ever change his mind on marriage so we are preparing on moving in another direction for 2014 as a group of 3. It’s sad, but  him making me wait longer when he knows I’m suffering inside has opened my eyes to the fact that I’ve waited long enough for him and now it’s time for me to stop waiting and start moving on mentally, emotionally and physically. I’ll keep you posted throughout the remainder of the 2013 year. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    1 posts
    Wannabee

    View original reply
    Claudia30:  you should just propose to him if you dont want to wait

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