(Closed) when i die DH, i hope…..

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

LOL I have brought this up to my husband many times. he thinks it is creepy. I get caught up on if he will love his new wife more. he says there is no way he could ever get married again or love another women. which is so sweet and he is such a faithful person i honestly think that is true. i would want him to be happy though. and i dont think he would be happy alone. 

I have not discussed what household item would be buried iwth me though! lol

Post # 4
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee

Yep! We have talked about it. We both want that for each other, but neither of us can imagine being able to move on or find anyone we could ever feel anything like we feel for each other.

I say they can’t touch this copper pot I love hahaha!

Post # 5
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

We have discussed this because we see how his grandfathers death has affected his grandmother. Both of us have agreed that should anything happen to us, we would want the other person to move on and be happy. 

FI’s grandfather died 10 years ago and his grandmother still cries herself to sleep every night (not even kidding). Last year at Thanksgiving she mentioned something about never dating or marrying anyone ever again because thats not what “Papa” would have wanted. Actually, thats exactly what he wanted (even when he was alive – she is a VERY difficult woman) but we can’t tell her that! 

Post # 6
Member
690 posts
Busy bee

Sad topic ๐Ÿ™

But on a lighter note, this reminds me that my mom has said to me a few times “If I die before your dad, I bet he turns into one of those men that remarry quickly b/c he needs someone to take care of him – whatever you do, make sure he doesn’t give all my money to some other woman!!!”

I think she’s partially joking, but we both have noticed that its not uncommon for some men to jump into new relationships as a coping mechanism after the death of their wife ๐Ÿ™ 

I’d want my Fiance to move on and be happy – after a suitable mourning period of course lol.  But he better not love anyone more than me!

Post # 7
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

We have and we actually think it would depend on our age and just where we are in life.  My grandmother lost my grandfather when she was around 56-ish though and she never remarried.  She just decided that where she was in life, she wanted to live for herself and not take care of a man again like she had and to spend time with her kids and grandkids.  I guess that’s moving on in some form, just not with anyone else (she never dated again from what my mom said).  We have discussed though that we want the other one to be happy if one of us dies, whatever that entails.

Post # 9
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@UpstateCait:

That is so sad ๐Ÿ™

OP: I want my partner to find someone who will make him happy & be a good support system & parent to our son.

My partner doesn’t like to think about what I would do if he passed 

verbatim: “..well it’s easy for YOU to say you want to see me happy if you go, but I know that the second YOU’RE available you’ll be beating guys off with a stick! While it’ll porobably take ME until I am completely BALD to even be able to think about going back on the market!” (he can be a tad dramatic)

I promised him my next marriage/long term reationship would be with a woman (I was only half joking ๐Ÿ˜› ).

Post # 10
Member
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

yea, i talked about it Darling Husband.  i told him i would want him to be happy and find someone else, but not right away!  i joked that he couldn’t take a woman for a date at my funeral.  lol.  he thought i was soo twisted and wrong for that, he looked at me like i was crazy.  but yes, in an appropiate amount of time, if something happened to me, i’d want him to find someone who makes him happy.

Post # 11
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I want to be 85 when I die, so at that point, if he can still “perform” I don’t care who he diddles.

Post # 12
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee

@mandb122: I agree. If I were to be so unfortunate that Darling Husband passes away in the near future, me being only 23, I would probably find another partner eventually. If I were older, and especially if I had kids already, I may not be interested in dating again.

I’ve asked Darling Husband if he would and he says he would never be able to. I am almost inclined to believe it. He has a very hard time letting things go and moving on. I would never wish that on him though.

Post # 13
Member
9083 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I want him to take good care of our pets.  I have total faith that he will–he already does.

Post # 14
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Fiance and I have talked about this several times. He says that he won’t get married again and I actually believe him. He was settling into permanent bachelorhood when we hooked up so I don’t think he would take the plunge again. He might have a “special friend” like our elderly relatives say, but not another wife.

As for me, I highly doubt I will get married again if something happens to Fiance after we marry. He has visions of some hot young thing sweeping in and taking me for every dime he’s worked for…LOL. I may have a “special friend” but definitely not another husband.

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