Post # 17
The way I see it, when you move out on your own and become an adult, you get to choose how involved your want your family to be in your life. As a spouse, you have to accept the level of involvement your SO chooses for their own family. However, if you aren’t happy with that level of involvement for what I’m assuming is a good reason (they’re mean to you, its too frequent/SO is sharing too much information (this is an issue with me and DH right now, your parents didn’t need to know about my UTI thankyouverymuch)), then your SO should respect that and find compromise.
Post # 18
I think yes and no. Yes, I married into the family and if you accept them, I need to, also. No, I don’t have to let them rule our lives or insert themselves where they see fit; they’re on the backburner, now, baby! It’s all about us!
Post # 19
I don’t agree with this. When you get married I believe your number 1 priority and your number 1 relationship is to your spouse. Of course you still love your families and parents but they come second to your spouse. I also don’t agree with this because I think people who think this way tend to find their families all twisted up in their marriage…so any drama, arguments, hardships that the couple is going through, the family is all up in the mix like it’s their business. Not good because it’s not their business nor their place to be mixed up in your marriage.
Post # 21
I don’t agree with that statement at all. You don’t get closer than my mom and me, and even she said your husband comes first in your life now.
Post # 22
@Nona99: I almost spit out my drink! lol
OP, to a point yes but to a point no. If you mean when you married him you have to socialize with his family then yes but do you have to be best buds, no.
Post # 23
No, I am not marrying your mom and under NO circumstances could this be good. I dont care about the context.
When I marry, he has decided to leave his father and mother’s house and cleave to me. Doesnt mean we wont be involved, but we decide to what point.
Post # 24
Oh hell no. My FI’s family are batshit. Although his mom’s pretty normal.
Post # 29
I think you become a part of the family but it is and should be a different type of relationship
Post # 30
You married his mom, dad, sister, brother, friends, everyone.
If you are going to be with them, you are going to have to build relationships with all these people or it can lead to strains in the relationship.
Post # 31
@Nona99: DITTO. My shorthand for it is “But you were raised by wolves.”