(Closed) when i married you i married your mom too?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

The way I see it, when you move out on your own and become an adult, you get to choose how involved your want your family to be in your life.  As a spouse, you have to accept the level of involvement your SO chooses for their own family.  However, if you aren’t happy with that level of involvement for what I’m assuming is a good reason (they’re mean to you, its too frequent/SO is sharing too much information (this is an issue with me and DH right now, your parents didn’t need to know about my UTI thankyouverymuch)), then your SO should respect that and find compromise.

Post # 18
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@Nona99:  Amazing.

 

I think yes and no. Yes, I married into the family and if you accept them, I need to, also. No, I don’t have to let them rule our lives or insert themselves where they see fit; they’re on the backburner, now, baby! It’s all about us!

Post # 19
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t agree with this. When you get married I believe your number 1 priority and your number 1 relationship is to your spouse. Of course you still love your families and parents but they come second to your spouse. I also don’t agree with this because I think people who think this way tend to find their families all twisted up in their marriage…so any drama, arguments, hardships that the couple is going through, the family is all up in the mix like it’s their business. Not good because it’s not their business nor their place to be mixed up in your marriage.

Post # 21
Member
8469 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t agree with that statement at all. You don’t get closer than my mom and me, and even she said your husband comes first in your life now. 

Post # 22
Member
2399 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@Nona99:  I almost spit out my drink! lol

 

OP, to a point yes but to a point no. If you mean when you married him you have to socialize with his family then yes but do you have to be best buds, no.

Post # 23
Member
3088 posts
Sugar bee

No, I am not marrying your mom and under NO circumstances could this be good. I dont care about the context.

When I marry, he has decided to leave his father and mother’s house and cleave to me. Doesnt mean we wont be involved, but we decide to what point.

Post # 24
Member
1176 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Oh hell no. My FI’s family are batshit. Although his mom’s pretty normal.

Post # 29
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee

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@subtlebee:  hilarious

 

 

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@rozzy:  I think you become a part of the family but it is and should be a different type of relationship

Post # 30
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You married his mom, dad, sister, brother, friends, everyone. 

If you are going to be with them, you are going to have to build relationships with all these people or it can lead to strains in the relationship. 

Post # 31
Member
1176 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Nona99:  DITTO. My shorthand for it is “But you were raised by wolves.”

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