(Closed) when (if) did you hear your clock ticking?

posted 8 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: when (if) did you start wanting to have a baby?

    haven't yet!

    ages 18-21

    ages 22-25

    ages 26-29

    ages 30-34

    ages 35-39

    ages 40-44

    ages 45-49

    ages 50-54

  • Post # 17
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’m kind of glad you’ve put this poll up. My friend has recently had her baby (she is 24) and my other friend is preggo (21) and I’m 23. The thought of having a child at his point terrifies me. I couldn’t do it now and I have NO URGE to. But that in its self scares me because what if I never feel ready/want to have children?

    My Fiance says he wants kids EVENTUALLY so he is totally on board with not having them now, but even he is saying in a year or two he would like to have a child and I start panicing and feeling tight in the chest.

    I was relying on my “bio clock” to kick in so thats kind of why I clicked on this thread….perhaps I’ll get the baby fever in 5 years? I don’t know.

    Post # 18
    6387 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    @canyouhearmenow13:  “But that in its self scares me because what if I never feel ready/want to have children?”

    Why is it so imperative that you feel the urge eventually? What’s wrong with simply not wanting kids?

    Not everyone wants them; if the thought of them terrifies you and makes your chest feel tight, and you have never felt any urge, maybe you simply just don’t want them; nothing wrong with that.

    I thought up until about 2 years ago that my clock would kick in eventually; because, everyone ‘has’ to have kids, right? I then discovered that some people actually choose not to have them, because they just don’t want them, and realised that I didn’t want them, never had, and never would. It was a wonderful moment for me in many ways (some, not so much, as it was a pretty huge bombshell to drop on my OH..). I just find this need that some women have for the clock to kick in eventually kind of strange; because it simply doesn’t for everyone.

    Post # 19
    9821 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’m 29 and haven’t really felt the urge yet, but I do think we will in the future (year or two maybe?). I had several good friends have babies right out of high school and I think that really put a damper on my baby-wanting lol.

    Post # 20
    4581 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    While I’ve known I wanted kids for most of my adult life, I haven’t really felt that intense urge to reproduce. So this year, at 29, I decided I may never feel the urge so I went for it before it’s too late.

    Post # 21
    2203 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    i had never wanted kids before somewhere in my 24th year of life where i suddenly NEEDED to bave a child! it’s so crazy and i thought it would never happen…but i cant wait to have kids now. 🙂

    Post # 22
    3798 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m going to be 26 in 2 months and I can feel it starting. I want to hold off until age 28 or 29, but I feel the clock starting now. I never thought it would happen but it is!

    Post # 23
    2541 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m going to be 27 soon and I am definitely feeling it. Especially since I get married. For various reasons we probably won’t TTC for at least another year or two :S

    Post # 24
    4943 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’m kind of in a weird spot. I’m 38, just got remarried. My husband was married before as well (he’s 36). Neither of us have children from our first marriage. I didn’t feel the urge with my ex, mainly because he was a professional musician and I didn’t want to be a “single parent” while he was on the road all of the time. Then he cheated and we got divorced, and I thank God I didn’t have to go through all of that hell with a baby on my hip (though we did halfway try for about 9 months before all this went down). Plus, since we didn’t have children, I don’t have to be tied to that asshole for the rest of my life. 🙂 (silver lining and all! ha)

    Now, I’m very open to it with this husband (and he wants children terribly). I still have a few reservations though. Because of our ages, we essentially need to shit or get off the pot. But I don’t like feeling under pressure! And that’s how I feel. Plus, I kind of like our life right now and don’t want to disrupt it. Yet, at the same time, I still am starting to feel the urge. Maybe it’s the urgency? I don’t know. I just wish I’d met him years ago so we could have had more “us” time before having to think about this. Frown

    Post # 25
    1416 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Well I wanted a kid since I was like 3 years old soooooooooooooo…lol. Seriously ever since I knew what babies were I have felt a pull on my ovaries everytime I’ve seen one. But I’m also an extremely practical person and am putting it off until we are slightly older and more financially secure, but I seriously feel like I’ve been fighting the urge for the last 20 years (and I’m only 25 LOL)

    Post # 26
    10713 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think of the clock ticking as time running out… so my clock is ticking loud now with my 27th birthday only 2 weeks away… I have 2 years left if I want another baby.

    When I started *wanting* another baby? Probably around 24 because my son was starting school and I started to think about having another baby. Before that I didn’t really think about having kids but got pregnant when I was 18.

    Post # 27
    458 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I’m 27 and I just don’t really want a baby. Sometimes I think and wish it was time, but everything we want in life just isn’t there yet. We have no family nearby and we both work very long hours with long commutes. I just don’t know how a baby would fit in there with that. It makes me wish I could just skip the baby stage!

    Post # 28
    5842 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Pretty much the day I turned 27 I felt the beginnings of baby fever

    Post # 29
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @mousewife-in-training:  I interpret feeling one’s clock ticking the same way you do – that it’s a biological urge, which can be compounded by a sense that time is running out – but principally it’s the urge that comes from within not the external pressure. In that sense, I’ve never felt it. I’m 33 and I’ve never looked at a baby or pregnant woman and felt a pang of longing, never fantasized about being pregnant or cradling my own baby or anything. (Oddly enough my body seems hellbent on getting pregnant in the sense that ovulation hits me like a ton of bricks every month and I react very strongly to it.) Around the time I turned 30 I started feeling external pressure – the sense that my time to make a decision was dwindling. I went through a brief period where I felt really panicky about the situation and read every book I could find about motherhood ambivalence and the decision to have children. And none of that really helped, by the way, because ulimately you either have the urge or you don’t, and trying to make the decision intellectually is crazy making because the benefits of having children are intangible and sort of metaphysical while the drawbacks are very, very concrete and easy to imagine.   

    Post # 30
    305 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would say, I started to feel baby fever around age 25, but it wasn’t time yet, as me and DH were planning our wedding at the time!  Now, almost 27, and happy to be pregnant for the first time : ) 

    Post # 31
    1396 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’ve always wanted kids but knew realistically what would need to happen in order to have them and be able to raise them in a well-supported environment. So while I wanted kids at 22, it’s only been in the last year (29) that we’ve started to think seriously about them. We always knew we’d have them, but we have actual timelines now and we both feel that if we had an ‘oops’ we’d be delighted. We’ll probably start TTC next year, once we have a few more things settled.

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