(Closed) When Is A Relationship "Official?"

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
9782 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

We dated exclusively from the beginning, so we counted ourselves official from the day I asked him out.

Post # 33
Member
2113 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Fiance and I were kinda backwards. We met as sophomores in high school and back then, there was no casual dating. Asking someone out meant asking them to be your SO. You didn’t really go an a date and then become a couple. I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said yes right before Christmas break, our first date was for our one month anniversary. I met his family that night because neither of us were old enough to drive. They drove us to dinner, sat at another table, then when we were all done, drove us home.

Post # 34
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@megz06:  Every couple is different but in my opinion the relationship’s not official until it’s been mutually established. I think a lot of people are afraid to slap labels on their relationships, though. Especially college students.

When my FH and I started dating, we had been out a few times and then I asked him “what are we? Is this a relationship?” To which he answered “Of course it is, what did you think we had going here?” LOL! At first I thought his answer was kind of condescending. But then he explained to me that in his culture, people don’t really date multiple people at the same time. It’s always exclusive from the start, and that each person knows that. He said the idea of stringing people along is very American, and that people need to be direct with their intentions.

I would say that girl is your brother’s girlfriend. Maybe see how he introduces her to your family. If he says “This is ______”, without saying “my girlfriend”, maybe he’s afraid to put a label on it right now.

And I HATE that “Facebook official” crap, lmao!

Post # 35
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@MrsPanda99:  I believe it’s what we call making out or French kissing. Shagging is sex (pretty sure, lol).

Post # 36
Member
7369 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You both agree and discuss expectations and boundries. Never assume.

Post # 37
Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

You have to have the talk imo. My SO and I had it after a few weeks of dating. Up to that point we had made out many times but hadn’t had sex. The whole conversation was basically me blurting out in the middle of making out if we were seeing other people. He said god no and that was that lol.

Post # 38
Member
1954 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We never really had a talk…I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said yes. I was only 16 and he was 19 so we were young, but we’ve never once doubted the other on the solidity of the relationship.

Post # 39
Member
2528 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I told my Darling Husband before we started dating that nothing (no hand holding, kissing etc.) would happen until he asked me out. It wasn’t a way of pressuring him to ask me out but more to let him no my feelings. I think we became official when he said to me, “will you be my girlfriend?”!

Post # 40
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

We have been hanging out (as friends, with a group of pther friends) for almost 3 weeks before we actually started going out..

From day 1 of “going out” he made it very clear how much of a jealous man he is and that he would never start a relationship if he wasn’t serious..

So i took that as we were exclusive..

We never really had “the talk” but his comment made it kind of clear.. And everything just fell into place on its own..

Post # 41
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee

Whenever you talk and decide to be exclusive is when the relationship starts. 

Post # 42
Member
3370 posts
Sugar bee

@megz06:  In the world, as I understand it, the only way you can be bf/gf is if you talk about it and agree or one person says “You’re my gf/bf” and the other person agrees. You can think you’re exclusive, but without that little convo there’s really no way to know what the other person is thinking. 

On a side note, meeting families after a couple dates! Wow, fast movers! lol. I’m more of a been bf/gf for a few, preferably 6 months before meeting families. He must really like her. 😀

Post # 43
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Definitely not until you talk about it. SO and I have our anniversary, but we had been dating exclusively/hooking up for almost 3 moths prior to that date. But, because we never actually talked about being boyfriend and girlfriend, it didn’t count.

Post # 45
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m in the “you should talk about it” camp, but then that’s my personality, I need everything clarified. Fiance sat me down after we had been dating for about 2 months and asked if we could “give it a go”. I appreciated the clarity.

Post # 46
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@MrsPanda99:  

@musical-lady:  

Yep snogging is french kissing/making out but I dunno. I guess as @Steampunkbride:  said more “get a room”. And yeah Shagging/to shag is sex.

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