(Closed) When is a shower too early?

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 18
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

That’s really sweet that everyone would pay for her ticket!  Correct me if i’m wrong, but can’t women who breastfeed pump milk for a couple day’s worth?  That way she could stock it up and whoever is with the baby could feed him/her.  I dunno, in the end do what you want to do! =) 

Post # 19
2194 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My shower is in June and I’m getting married in November. I thought that seemed kind of early, but my aunts are throwing it and that’s what they wanted.

Post # 20
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Yeah, 8 months seems really early.  Do you really want to lock in your wedding guest list this far out?  Anyone invited to the shower must be invited to the wedding.

As for using the gifts before the wedding, the etiquette is that if the wedding doesn’t happen for whatever reason, you are obligated to return all wedding/shower gifts to the sender.

Post # 23
31 posts
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would suggest they have it next February or March.  That is 4 or 5 months AFTER her baby and more in line with etiquette.  It they are that excited maybe suggest an engagement party

Post # 24
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think it’s too early.  I would be very very suprised to receive an invite to a shower before I even had a save the date.  Shower’s are usually held 1-3 months before the wedding, and as a PP mentioned, you’re supposed to hold off on using your gifts until after the wedding.  8 months would be a looong wait!  ๐Ÿ™‚  I would plan to have the shower next year.  You never know how your friend will feel after the baby is born.  She may not want to fly with the baby, but then again, by then she may feel differently once the whole newness of having a baby/pregnancy wears off.  Honestly, it sounds like your friends are dying to throw a party (offering to pay her ticket, etc).

Post # 25
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Why is it etiquette to have it 2-3 months prior to the wedding? In your situation it makes more sense to have it early. Who wants to worry about going to a shower 3-4 weeks before their wedding? NOT ME. Don’t forget what is involved with the shower, of course your Maid/Matron of Honor will take care of most of it…but it is time being taken away from your last minute planning or concerns. DO it when you feel it is more convenient. Im not too sure why everyone is so concerned about when the shower is. It is really not a big deal.

Post # 27
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@techie: good luck dress hunting with a prego BM!  my moh is pregnant, and it was a bit difficult trying to figure out what size to order for her after she gives birth.  my bm will actually BE pregnant in the wedding, so ordering her a dress she could grow into was a pain in the rear, too!!  lol

Post # 28
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m going to go against the grain and say that I think it’s fine, because it’s what works best for your BMs. It’s not like you’re planning to have 10 showers, so you’re starting early to fit them all in–THAT I might take issue with. ๐Ÿ™‚ But this…so you’re having it early? Big whoop. You gotta do what you gotta do. 

Post # 30
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with the ladies, would she be able to come down with the baby after then you get a bridal shower and get to see the baby!

Post # 31
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

All circumstances are different with each person and the showers can be given according to what works best for all involved. While eight months does seem a little early, there is really no etiquette about when it should be held. Most are usually done 6-8 weeks before the wedding, but I think that is more of a tradition than anything else. I would think that’s based mostly on the fact that all the guests have been invited to the wedding by then, and will expect some kind of shower to be planned.

Opening and using the gifts beforehand is really only an old superstition about it maybe being bad luck or ‘counting your chickens before they’re hatched’……the wedding could be cancelled and the gifts would have to be returned, so some people believe it’s the ‘safe’ way to do things.

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