(Closed) When is counselling for yourself beneficial?

posted 7 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I feel fine right now and would still love to go to counseling!  It’s just nice to have someone to talk to who is nonjudgemental and who is on the outside of your entire life.  I highly recommend it. 

Post # 5
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yep, I’ve done it several times.  The first time was after leaving an abusive relationship.  The second time was right before I graduated college.  I was fixing to move to a new state by myself without knowing anyone there.  Both times were so helpful.  I just sat on the couch and cried for an hour a few times and that was perfectly fine.  The counselor should make you feel 100% comfortable.  If they don’t, you need to find a new one.  Just remember, you have to go in with an open mind.  Some people don’t think counseling is for them or it doesn’t work…in that case it won’t.

Post # 7
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

As someone who is currently tapering off several years of counseling, I can tell you when *I* think it’s useful – though of course it might not apply to you.

I think it’s useful when you feel overwhelmed by feelings or behaviors that worsen your quality of life, and your own efforts can only take you so far.

I think it’s useful when you want to understand yourself and your life more clearly, so that you can be the kind of person you most want to be and live the kind of life you most want to lead.

I think it’s useful when you feel trapped by something – a job, a relationship, a phobia, a behavior, or even just by other people’s demands and expectations.

For all of these things, I think counseling can be immensely helpful.  But it absolutely requires that the therapist is someone you can establish a trusting relationship with. Of course that won’t happen the first visit, but I do think over the first few visits you can figure out if you respect their wisdom and intuition. It sometimes helps if you can get a recommendation from a friend or family member who you are close to.

I think the tricky part is distinguishing between a therapist who isn’t the right one for you, and a therapist who’s great for you, but is pushing you to explore uncomfortable or difficult feelings or truths.  I almost quit my current therapist after a month or two, but my mom encouraged me to give it a chance. She was right, and my therapist has helped me tremendously.

Post # 8
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with BoiledPNut that sometimes it’s just nice to have a completely neutral person to talk to. And even though you might feel awkward about telling someone your secrets, that’s what a counselor is there for. They will not judge you; they will try to help you deal with your feelings. And maybe it will be helpful to tell someone all of the things you’ve been keeping to yourself for so long.

I am a self-recovered bulimic as well. My parents forced me to go to counseling for years, and it did nothing for me because I wasn’t ready to be there. After quitting counseling, I dealt with my issues by meeting other people my own age who were going through the same things and talking about it together.

But years later, especially while dealing with the stress of planning our wedding (a wedding we were very resistant to having for most of the planning period), I seriously considered going back to counseling. I knew my friends were tired of listening to me talk about how annoyed/angry/stressed out I was, and it really would have been nice to have someone to just vent to.

To sum up, I highly recommend it, and good luck πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I may be a bit bias because I’m a therapist, though I think everyone can benefit from therapy.  Since starting my current position (and before) I’ve been in therapy, in large part because I think to be a good therapist one needs to be in therapy themselves.  But that being put aside…I’ve been able to learn so much about myself and really make positive changes in myself.  

That all being said…with your past as you’ve described, I think therapy would be a great idea.  It’s hard to really say how much challenges can have a not so positive impact on the person you are, and often you may not realize the many positive changes you could be making until you have a chance to process it.  

And to answer your question–the way counseling “works” or how it helps.  I think you could ask lots of people this question and get lots of different answers.  A quick answer is that there are different forms of therapy, and diffenet therapists may focus in diffeerent approaches.  A very simplistic general range is pure talk therapy, where all you do is talk, and your therapist will be actively engaged or minimally engaged in speaking with you.  Often, this will focus on your past AND present behavior, and the degree of both can depend on the therapeutic approach.  On another end of the spectrum is more behavioral based therapy.  Often, that’s about doing behavioral modification, and is usually very present focused.  It’s helpful with people who have challenges with anxiety and often depression.  And there’s often a mixture of doing both (which is what I tend to do).

And how therapy helps–only being able to speak from my personal experience, I’ve found it really helpful because it allows me a chance to process my thoughts and have them directed by a person who knows what kinds of questions to ask and knows how to explore in just the right way and help me become lead to conclusions that are helpful.  I guess for the work that I do, I’d like to think it’s helpful in that it helps address problematic behaviors and work on finding solutions to replace more positive behaviors.

I feel like I’m getting a bit long winded (Typed?) here, so I’ll stop.  Let me know if you have any more questions, and i’d be happy to answer/go on and on some more.  πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Cash000: I went to a psychologist and my health insurance covered it.  I think I paid $10 a visit.  I also went to one where I worked that was free.  If you are in school, they usually have counselors there for the students for free.  All the counselors I went to just let me talk and if they had questions, they’d ask when I paused.  They all kind of guided the conversation if they needed to.

Post # 11
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

I did counseling in grad school. I had pretty severe depression, anxiety, and insomnia. There wasn’t some huge tragic thing that happened to me–I was just in a really rough place. And I found counseling so beneficial. I was still functioning on a day-to-day basis pretty well, but having someone to talk to really helped me to reduce my anxiety, take better care of my overall health, and deal with my feelings of depression. I am now a huge proponent of counseling, and I certainly don’t think you have to have anything in particular that “wrong” with you (a misconception I had been raised with). Normal everyday people have struggles, and it’s really helpful to talk to someone. 

Post # 13
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@parasol: Me tooooooo!!!  Actually, nearly everyone I know in my phd program has gone to counseling at some point or another.  Grad school is not generally good for one’s mental health. πŸ˜›

Post # 14
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I posted this in the duplicate thread:

I’m curious about this as well.  My one and only counseling sessions wasn’t the best experience and I wonder how I can do better during them, gain the most appreciation/benefit for it.

 

I’ll add though that I think for me, I didn’t mesh well with this particular psychologist.  I really gravitate towards sympathy and empathy, understanding, etc.  This particular psychologist would be better suit for males, I think.  I cry a lot when I’m frustrated, really nervous, and possibly embarrassed and I don’t think that I interacted well this this psychologist.  I was having a really tough time in college, issues with my major and trouble sleeping, frustration with the competitive atmosphere.  I would love to try it again, but I’m still pretty nervous about it.

EDIT: I think for me, I felt incredibly overwhelmed with the amount of stuff I wanted to talk about.  I think if you go to a therapist or psychologist, hopefully they’ll direct you to different things to talk about. 

Post # 16
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Cash000: In my personal opinion, I have had best results seeing a psychologist, combined wtih limited visits to a psychiatrist for medication consults.

Your problems will absolutely not seem miniscule to them.  I swear up and down.  As Parasol said, I was not having earth-shattering traumas – I was struggling in school, and my (now husband) was suffering from severe untreated depression. I was functioning; I was getting by, but I was crying a lot and feeling stressed and lost.  Never once did she make me feel like my problems weren’t real or important, although of course I recognize that other people have much worse issues to deal with.

The topic ‘When is counselling for yourself beneficial?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors