(Closed) When is it 'ok' to tell people you're pregnant?

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
723 posts
Busy bee

I’d say immediately, at least to immediate family and parents. 

If by any chance you have miscarriage, then you have shoulders to cry on and ears to talk with, and you are not grieving alone.

Post # 3
Member
1027 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

ehh, think everyone is different. I hope to wait as well.. sister-in-law mentioned in 4 weeks in!

Post # 4
Member
1122 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

acw2016:  No the safe period is still around 12 weeks, depending on what your doctor says and what tests you want to get done around that time.  I am 4 weeks along today but will be telling my parents and sister the next time I see them.  If I do miscarry I would like their support.  

Post # 5
Member
3480 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I would definitely wait 12 weeks, which is about when you start showing anyway. So I don’t see any reason to tell then earlier, unless you’re totally ready to tell them if you miscarry.

Post # 6
Member
2663 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think the same way as you and would stick with 12 weeks. If I suffered a miscarriage I don’t think I could handle everyone knowing and/or asking questions.

I understand that some women are really close to their mothers and may share the news ASAP but I don’t think I would.

Post # 7
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

I think it depends on how you would want to procede if you were to have a miscarriage. If you are the type who would want to cope privately, I would hold off on telling people. If you think your mom & Future Mother-In-Law would be positive help and trust they wouldn’t go blabbing, you could tell them and ask them to keep it a secret until you’re at 12 weeks (but probably assume they will tell someone…). If you don’t mind being public about it, tell everyone you want.

Post # 8
Member
5543 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

It is totally personal. And ask anyone who has miscarried at 16, 20, 30, 36 weeks… there is no “safe” period. People have finally understood that miscarriage isn’t something to be ashamed of or keep hidden in the shadows. So tell who ever you want, whenever you want. I am certain as soon as I get a positive test I will be calling my mom and sister and will likely wait to make a big announcement until a little bit later. But that is because I will want to be able to tell as many of my family/close friends in person first. If for whatever reason we have a miscarriage those people who knew we were pregnant are the same ones I would want to be there to help us through it. 

Post # 11
Member
6899 posts
Busy Beekeeper

12-13 weeks for anyone you wouldn’t want to discuss a miscarriage with or can’t trust to keep your confidence. Your risk of loss drops dramatically at that point. 

Post # 12
Member
5543 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

acw2016:  Something like 10-15% risk and it decreases to like 5% after you can hear at heartbeat at 8ish weeks, then like 1% after a normal US at 16 weeks. 

Post # 14
Member
13837 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There’s no guidelines — people say 12 weeks because of the drop in miscarriage rates.  But you can tell people whenever youi’re comfortable.

I’d want to tell my parents right away but not tell my inlaws until 12 weeks.  They’re very gossipy, so it wouldn’t stay quiet, AND if I miscarried, I’d feel very judged by them (even if they didn’t intend it…but we don’t have a good relationship).

Post # 15
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Outdoor

We started telling family and close friends right away. In my case, I just couldn’t imagine keeping something this big from those closest to us. If something had happened, we would have needed their support. That said, we have still not announced it on Facebook or by sending out cards or anything. I think it’s a personal decision and now that I’ve been pregnant I really don’t judge anyone for telling when they are ready. 

If you have an early ultrasound and are able to see a strong heartbeat, usually 7 weeks or so, then the risk of miscarriage drops to something like 5%. Early ultrasounds are getting more common but they are relatively new so that’s why 12 weeks was traditional. 

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