Post # 1
We are hoping to do a second round of invitations if we have guest who RSVP No. But we don’t want these guests to feel like “last minute” invitees.
I am planning to handle thsi by printing a separate RSVP card (since the RSVP date would be later) for this second round.
When did you send out your 2nd rounds and did anyoen know they were in the 2nd round and was anyone offended?
Post # 3
Honestly, I feel the first response is the proper one, but because I did #4, I voted for it. I sent 1st round 8 weeks out, I sent 2nd round 6 weeks out, and I’ve actually been calling people at 1-2 weeks prior since some of my family has backed out. I have mixed feelings about this. As many brides will tell you, its an awkward conversation on the right way to tell someone “you weren’t my first pick, but now that there’s space, you’re invited!” But while it’s been a little awkward for me to make the call, most recipients have been really happy to get the call (or they fake it well). And if someone is offended, well, that reaffirms for me why they were 3rd round.
I’ve just explained that we were constrained to a limited guest list, some family is now unable to attend, I know it’s short notice but would love for them to attend if they can. I just thought about this today, wondering if these third rounders think I’m gift mongering, but I’m calling them because I feel they are special and I’d prefer to sound a little tacky and include them than to have empty seats when I think they would really enjoy themselves.
Post # 4
@misssweet: Good call about the second set of RSVP cards. I wish I had done this. I am struggling with my second round of invites as we speak. It’s almost 6.5 weeks to our wedding, and I’m giving people a 2 week deadline. I hope that’s enough.
For you, I would set the first deadline on the early side (maybe 2 months out) that you have ample time to follow up with the stragglers. Then have a second deadline at least few weeks out, if possible. That way you don’t have to worry about explaining the situation the your second wave of people.
Post # 4
one addition: just got off the phone with my mom. she sent a ‘final round’ invite to one of my old teachers who lives FIVE HOURS AWAY! his response “thank you so much for thinking of me. I wouldn’t miss it. I’ll be there with bells on.” I haven’t seen him in 8 years and he’s driving 5 hours to celebrate with us. Point of my story is it depends on the audience for your invite add ons. the right people will appreciate the call…even if you break etiquette.
Post # 5
@angeebride: I second your last statement! I was afraid my wave 2 people would be offended, but they were all actually still very excited to get an invite. People understand.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
I have a B list, and I’ll just redo RSVP cards and send the same invite out a month to 6 weeks prior to the wedding (first round is going out on the 25th this month). I DIYed our invites, though, so it’s not hard to reprint and redo the by date for a second round. Our venue needs a final count a week before our date. No one will know they were on the B list unless we specifically tell them (which we won’t).