(Closed) When is it too late to send the "B list" invites?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

No, it’s definitely not too late.  It’s nice if you can call the “B-list” folks as well as sending them invites, so that you can explain.

I will warn you though, we had quite a few people who, 6 weeks out, were saying they probably couldn’t make it, and then ended up coming after all!  We were scrambling to meet our number, and then we ended up having almost 20 more guests than the required minimum.

Post # 4
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Also, couldn’t you confirm a higher number with the venue even if those people don’t show? I wouldn’t want to count on the B list to make up those numbers. The venue doesn’t care if they make 5 plates of food and have 5 chairs set up for people who “didn’t make it” as long as they get paid. If it were more people, I wouldn’t advise doing that, but like a PP said, you may have people who said no suddenly say yes too and then you have room for them anyway. Invite your extra guests but make sure not to mention that you need the numbers.

 

Post # 5
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Not too late at all. If you can print off new RSVP cards with a different date, then I’d do that and send them out asap. We’ve done this and have been able to closely monitor who can and can’t come and then invite others if possible.

Post # 6
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d send them out ASAP and be sure to have new RSVP cards printed with a new response date of 1 month from today.

Post # 7
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I asked a friend (in person, didn’t wait to send an invite in the mail) if she’d like to come only a couple weeks before the wedding, haha (she was a new friend, but a good one, and wasn’t expecting an invite since she was such a new friend, but last second I decided I loved her so much that I wanted her there, despite having just met her a few months prior, she was beyond not offended, in fact she was thrilled and she did attend, but that’s because she wasn’t expecting to be invited originally)

Post # 8
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@CaliHoya:  +

Why not just confirm the magic # even if you don’t have that many RSVPs?

Post # 9
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@emf51912:  It’s not too late! Send those invites ASAP :o)

Post # 10
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@BookishBelle:  Same here. At the last minute, some of his family couldn’t make it to our January wedding. I invited my boss, explained the situation, and she was THRILLED to come. She great an organizing my surprise bachelorette even when she wasn’t invited, so I felt happy to be able to invite her when a few people couldn’t come.

Post # 11
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@emf51912:  WOW i did not think there was such a thing as a “B” list last moment invite but i really think i got one to my cousins wedding this month lol i think he thought of us at the last moment. but i think they were stressing over the cost of there wedding i just feel kinda iky that i was part of that cutting cost ; ( caz i give good gifts.

Post # 12
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Don’t B List. Just don’t. Suck it up and pay what you need to pay. I would feel horrible that I was invited just so you got a break on your per plate. Sorry, no. Don’t do it.

Post # 13
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I say it is not too late to send them, and that by all means you should! Some people will say don’t invite the B list, but IMO I would rather have some people I orignally did not intend to really be at my wedding than spend an additional $2000! That’s crazy!

Post # 14
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think that it’s perfectly fine to invite people from your B list as long as they were people you really would love to have at your wedding, but due to numbers you couldn’t invite them initially.

Post # 16
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Think of it as a “wish list,” not a B-list! It’s simply a reality of wedding planning that there are certain people (maybe family, maybe parents’ colleagues, etc. depending on the circumstances) who are “must-be-inviteds” and then there are the people that you really want to have attend, if there is space. That’s your “wish list,” not your B-list. B-list implies less-desirable, and that’s totally not the case. There is no reason for your friends to feel bad that they were a wish-list invite that you fortunately had space for, and you have plenty of time to do it.

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