Great topic / post.
The problem is that many many people don’t genuinely know the difference between Etiquette and Tradition.
Etiquette seems to get blamed for everything (lol, as an Etiquette Snob around these parts I know)
Traditions most certainly can be picked from like a Buffet table… you choose this, you choose that… don’t care for whatever.
Infact on the other end of the spectrum… one can in many cases not only “inherit” traditions, but also adapt or choose from ones not normally found within their family, heritage, or locale.
Etiquette tho tends to be stuff that has a distinct reason for being… when one follows the Rules of Etiquette not only do the Guests feel more at ease… (which is the key reason for Etiquette to begin with)… BUT it usually means less headaches for the Host (exception being when they run up against Guests who haven’t got a clue how they are supposed to behave in public, or socially… in this day and age)
So altho Etiquette is relaxing somewhat in this modern age … it is a gradual process over time (gotta remember the Rules of Etiquette have been around for eons / decades / more than a Century… for good reason… they work. When everyone is playing with the same Rule Book, things run smoother).
From the post above, the only Etiquette item is addressing of the Envelopes in nice hand-written script (or calligraphy).
And the thought behind that was that one actually took the time to care about the task they were doing, and the kindness that they were extending onto another by inviting them to a special event such as a Wedding. Making them feel welcome, appreciated, and special all by the appearance of a pretty envelope in the post.
I agree, I think with today’s wonderful fonts available that most Brides who even care about this rule could easily opt for the “modern equivalent” (a font that looks like it is handwritten, can still convey all that was once done by hand… a pretty envelope in the mail, still says all the things that the ones 25, 50 or 100 years ago did). And, definitely a lot less hassle in this busy world… not to mention, something that the Post Office will probably find a lot easier to deal with overall. (And goodness knows we’ve read enough posts about how awful / temperamental the Post Office can be when it comes to Brides getting their Invites mailed out to their Guests).
That isn’t to say, that if a Bride is having an uber formal Black Tie event, that she should opt for the modern fonts vs calligraphy… one truly has to decide on a case-by-case basis based upon both the “message they are wishing to convey / tone / theme etc” and also what their Guest List will respond best to.
But overall ya, I agree… there do seem to be a lot of heated discussions of late (Cabin Fever… has certainly been a long cold winter up north… or maybe just the time of year with more panic stricken Brides finding WBee… as we come in to prime Wedding Season… May, June, etc)
Whatever it is, I agree it ain’t pretty.
Lol, but if you really want to see nasty catfights… I know of “another website” that is filled with ’em. No tulle unturned over there !!