- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I have been with my fiance for 5 and a half years, and we’ve always been big fans of compromise whenever we have a disagreement.
But off and on over the past few years, we’ve disagreed about something pretty important and I think we’ve reached an empasse and I don’t know what to do. (not that we’re going to break up or anything – wedding is in 9 days lol – but I’m so confused).
I’m talking about birth control.
I am a very natural girl and I really hate medication. I hate the idea of altering your cycle and I am TERRIFIED of the major side effects of hormonal BC (stroke, heart attack etc). Yes, I know it’s exceedingly rare, but I went to high school with a girl who had a stroke because of her BC and that scared the SHIT outta me. And my mom had blood clots when she took BC to the point where she had to stop.
So I avoided BC for a long long time – we just used condoms.
But I did try NuvaRing for a few months, and it was awful. I had leg cramps every day and migraines at least once a week. Plus, my anxiety was WAY higher than usual and I was snapping at everyone and everything for no reason.
Bottom line: I really do NOT feel comfortable taking hormonal BC. I know there are so many different options/brands, and everyone reacts to all of them differently, but I honestly don’t want to take the risks associated with them.
I know there’s the non-hormonal IUD, but I’m a giant wimp, and there seems to be a lot of conflicting information/medical opinions out there about the possible side effects from that thing.
I also know about charting or “natural” family planning, but I just don’t trust that. I’m a huge worrier and we are in NO position to have children for AWHILE, so I don’t think charting would work.
I am totally fine using condoms. Yeah, sometimes it sucks when it comes to spontenaeity, and it DOES feel a bit better without a condom, but in the grand scheme of things, condoms are not so bad.
Fiance of course feels differently. He talks about how bulky they are and how sometimes he can’t finish because the condom feels so awful.
He’s trying to be understanding about my hesitancy towards BC but …. we are just so confused.
He doesn’t want me to do something that makes me feel bad or comes with scary side effects, but we’re going to be married and …. i don’t know…. condoms feel less…..intimate sometimes.
I honestly have no idea what to do.
Deep down, I really don’t want to be on any form of BC. But I want to make my fiance happy. I mean, he says he’ll be fine if we just have to use condoms but I know it’d make him happy if we didn’t have to.
I’m …. SO….. confused!!