When Men Ask You to Smile (w/poll)

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: How do you feel about others asking you to smile?
    It would annoy me, and I'd tell the person something : (51 votes)
    33 %
    It would annoy me, but I'd ignore it : (84 votes)
    54 %
    I smile! Why not? : (10 votes)
    6 %
    I wouldn't smile, but it wouldn't annoy me, and I'd ignore it : (10 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 46
    2286 posts
    Buzzing bee

    knotyet :  when men tell me to smile, it makes me feel homicidal. I honestly don’t believe anything makes me angrier…i find it funny that they NEVER tell other men to smile…I wonder what the difference is 🤔 because I certainly do not leave my house for other people’s viewing pleasure.


    Honestly though, I wish 99% of the strange men I come into contact with would leave me the fuck alone altogether, actually.  

    Post # 47
    49 posts

    This is definitely annoying and it happens quite often. 

    Post # 48
    432 posts
    Helper bee

    A guy in the same elevator said to me once, “Why the long face?” … “You’d feel better with a smile!”… I looked over at him and said, “You’re probably right but, I have a ragging case of cramps and PMS, what’s your excuse?”… he turned straight forward and didn’t say anything more… 

    …And every woman in contact with him from then on probably lived happily ever after… in a quiet elevator…

    Post # 49
    2286 posts
    Buzzing bee

    icequeen85 :  I love your name. It goes perfectly with your response 😂😂😂

    Post # 50
    3327 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    knotyet :  it’s really annoying.  I work in retail, small shop,. We have 2 or 3 in a day. We can get really busy and have people waiting to be served. So your rushing about to help everyone. You get that one  when your running low on energy,  have loads to catch up on, who wants you to smile your freshest calmest , biggest, happy, friendly smile. Aaagggghhhhhhh

    Post # 51
    636 posts
    Busy bee

    I hate this. I really do. There’s no reason I have to smile for anyone. And the whole “it can’t be that bad” blah blah blah is also pretty rude because actually it can be that bad. What if my mom just died? I mean come on. But even if nothing bad has happened I still don’t owe anyone a smile. My experience with this mostly came when I was younger and it was a rare occasion where I was accompanying friends to a bar but wasn’t drinking. Often it’s not too fun and pretty boring to hang around a bunch of drunk people and you may just be waiting for it to be time to drive them home. But inevitably there’d be some guy trying to flirt or just being annoying asking me to smile. It always made me super uncomfortable and I’m really glad that there’s now a dialogue about this and women (or men too) are able to speak out instead of just being told what to do for someone else’s amusement and then being considered a bitch if you don’t do what they say. 

    ETA: That last line is important. If I didn’t give into these situations these men would say something rude to me, like calling me a bitch or something, before skulking away. This is the big deal with the whole situation. And this is why people get upset. Because the implication is that someone is OWED your smile and if you don’t, you’re a bitch. Seriously. Those implications are huge and color way more of the whole sexism problem than just smiling. This is mostly why women concede and go along with things or don’t speak up about things. Because she’ll be labeled the bitch. “Oh Frank at work is pervy, watching us bend over and telling dirty jokes? He’s just like that.” That’s the kind of response you hear a lot. So when someone does rock the boat and says this is NOT okay, then they’re seen as the bitch. And this type of thing happens billions of times per day and people keep getting away with harassment and assault. Telling a woman to smile may not seem like a big deal but it is a symptom of this entire problem. 

    Post # 52
    1011 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’m astonished at how often this seems to happen to people!  It’s never happened to me.  Maybe it’s a cultural/regional thing?  Or maybe it’s because I tend to smile when I’m nervous, and I’m often nervous.  Several times I’ve had people say “you look really happy today!” and I think “what?  I’m not happy.  I’m so stressed out I’m about to cry”.  That doesn’t annoy me, it just confuses me.

    Post # 53
    5107 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I’ve gotten this since childhood. I just have a mean RBF.

    It does annoy me, but I’m not one to go off on someone, so I usually just give them an overly sarcastic smile really quick and then back to my bitch face. 

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