Post # 1
Hi Ladies, Gents, All,
I cant believe after 2 years of religiously following this forum (and posting some HELP ME posts) I am now married (19.5.19) and asking about babies!
Now to the question. Obviously I will have this conversation with my Husband, (loveeeee that I can call him that now) but I was just curious, how did you all know, what made you and your partner say yes this is it, lets try to have a baby?
We do want kids, we will be 29 years old soon, I’ve never been crazy maternal and was happy to put it off until my mid 30’s but now I am a WIFE, babies seems to be on my mind constantly, which is totally out of character for me. Am I just still on that new bride high or …
Would love to hear all your stories 🙂
Post # 2
LOL well love makes us emotional and impulsive.
I was initially against more kids (2nd marriage and we both have kids). We had a long evolving conversation where we eventually both agreed we wanted one.
Hes team “lets have a baby ASAP” and when Im emotional I feel the same way.
But Im a planner so I have about 12-18 months left in school and want to finish that. Im also training for a half marathon so that sets us back a few months past our wedding.
So we are going to wait until September ish I think.
We are also both turning 35 this year so there is a quiet clock ticking. Youve got time… do what feels right!
Post # 3
Right after we got married I started a 2 year MBA program, so we waited until I finished that. I actually stopped my BCP 6 months before I finished school but we didn’t try as hard as we should have, and once I finished school in December we ramped it up and were pregnant by February. I’m also 31 so that made a big difference too.
Post # 4
My Darling Husband and I got married when I was 29, he was 30. We decided to start TTC right away. I had some past medical history that indicated it may take awhile for me to get pregnant and have one stick so we wanted to have plenty of time. We also knew we wanted at least 2 kids if not 3. Word to the wise it only took us 3 months to get pregnant (and it stuck!) so make sure you are really ready! I really wanted to be done having kids by 35 so starting around 30 made sense to us so we could have some spacing between them.
It was a plus that one of my best friends and bridesmaids was pregnant at my wedding so I knew we wouldn’t be tackling this parenthood thing alone. As it worked out one of my other bridesmaids is due a month before me and another good friend a few months after me so timing seems to be perfect. Its so nice going through this experience with friends.
Post # 5
Six months into dating I got real with him and told him that I want to TTC within our first year of marriage. It can be one month in or eleven, but I want to start after marriage. Because I know I’ll be like you – I’ll be married and go “OK LET’S GO” haha.
I married him for MANY reasons, but being on the same page on children is so key. Him saying “yes I think that’s perfect” was one step closer to us being a forever couple 🙂
Now that we are much further down the road, we plan to start TTC in September this year, three months after the wedding 🙂
Post # 6
- Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse
We always talked about having children. I’ve never wanted to have kids right after marriage but I also don’t want to wait a super long time. Hubby agreed.
At this point I think we know we’re ready because we both feel settled and at peace. It’s hard to describe but it’s almost like we are bracing for chaos lol.
We both work hard during the week and save all the money we can. On weekends, we usually just sit home and spend time together. We might go out for breakfast or dinner. The lifestyle we live would be very easy to incorporate a child into because of how simple everything is now.
We both got new jobs this spring so I want to start trying when my husbands insurance opens up and we can both get on it. We are going to circle back and see how we both feel about trying atthat point. And I know not everyone agrees, but I want to enjoy trying. I don’t want to do intense charting or ovulation strips. I don’t have a problem trying that later. But I’d rather start having a general idea when I’m ovulating and go from there.
Post # 7
We’ve decided to TTC next summer. We both knew we wanted to wait until after marriage so the conversation was basically non-existent until after the wedding. There was never any one big conversation about it just small, almost “checking in” conversations. For a couple years we each had our reasons for wanting to wait – finances, finding the right time in my husband’s PhD program, me wanting to be settled in my new job, but one day we just both agreed we feel ready to start trying a year from now. We still check in with each other on that timeline occasionally and we both still say we want to start trying summer 2020.
I suppose if in the next year one of us changes our mind that will warrant a longer conversation.
Post # 8
We have a big vacation planned for next summer, which I don’t want to be pregnant for lol. After that vacation, I’ll be 28 and he’ll be 30. We both agreed that we wouldn’t try before that vacation, and we would re-visit the topic in a few months.
Post # 9
I felt emotionally and mentally ready before my husband did, but we agreed on some things that needed to happen before we started trying.
1. Wait until I turned 30 (he would have happily waited even longer, but I wanted to at least be trying before my 31st b-day)
2. Take a real vacation together (as in more than 3 days and outside our own state, which we hadn’t yet managed to make happen!)
3. Move out of our apartment and into a house, even if just renting
4. Husband get a job that could support us on one income for at least several months after a baby is born
Once all those boxes were checked we went for it, and I’m due this July! Even though he was initially keen to put off parenthood as long as possible, now that we’re actually expecting my husband is excited and impatient to meet our little girl.
Post # 10
Thanks ladies, I’ve enjoyed reading your comments, especially on this rubbish Friday morning I am having in work meh.
After this post I went home and we had the talk. My husband bless his soul, is not a whole lot opinionated on the subject, he would be happy if we had one now or waited. He did point out – hey remember I am in current talks with company to move country in the New Year and moving country is not easy (we have did it twice now) but I feel like with our lifestyle and his job moving us all the time we will never really have a “right time.”
Babies aside I have been dying to stop my BCP, it’s been 14 years now and I hate them, I am a much better person off the BCP but I stuck with it because pregnancy fear. So with that being said we agreed that after this pack of bcp is done I will not continue but we will not actively TTC until we have a solid date on relocation. HOWEVER if it does happen it happens and that’s ok coz we’re ready, ready as we’ll ever be. How exciting 🙂
Can anyone recommend some good tracking apps?
Post # 11
jemmlove12 : Holding and playing with our nephew and watching him grow. That made me say to my hubby, I need one of these! We had always talked about kids, we both want 2. We decided to TTC early 2019, once we got back from our Hawaii trip. I’m almost 12 weeks pregnant now!
Post # 12
jemmlove12 : I was never in a rush to have kids and D.H. and I had a timeline of “before we turn 35,” but right before I turned 30 I just started feeling like I was readyish enough to move it up. I was initally a little nervous about talking to D.H. about moving our kid timeline up but he was really excited and has been talking about it every day since our chat! We have been together a long time (13 years), so we had always known we wanted to finish undergrad and graduate degrees, be in stable careers, get married, buy a house, and take a once in a lifetime trip before we thought about kids. We’ve done all of those things and are now planning on TTC next year, as long as we’re both ready when the time comes. We do want to build up our savings since childcare is crazy expensive where we live. If we’re not ready next year, we’ll move it farther out and take it a day at a time.
Post # 13
We both disclosed our want for children early on in our dating relationship. He said he didn’t want to wait too long because he doesn’t want to be an “old dad” lol. I told him I wouldn’t purposely get pregnant by a man I wasn’t married to. He just turned 40, I’m 31, and we’re getting married later this summer, so we’ll start TTC right after the wedding.
Post # 14
MissCtoMrsR : LOL to not wanting to be preggo on vacation. We are going to an all inclusive for our honeymoon. No WAY would I want to be pregnant that week. I want all the booze!
Post # 15
jemmlove12 : Darling Husband and I went into our relationship and marriage not wanting kids. After getting married, buying a house, and getting established in my career I was ready. He agreed at first then changed his mind (I posted about it here). But then we discussed it further and he just wasn’t ready at the time. We decided to wait a year and started trying this March, got pregnant May. We’re both over the moon excited and hope everything goes well with my pregnancy and baby. I guess what really made us go for it is being financially stable and being emotionally ready because you’ll never really be prepared for the storm of a newborn but once everything else is in order it makes one less worry. I will add we also started paying into Aflac June last year which will help supplement my income when I’m on maternity leave. It doesn’t cover pregnancy until you’ve paid the premium for 10 months. So that was also important to us so we don’t have to worry about that either.