(Closed) When others get engaged…

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: See question in post below

    6 months

    1 year

    1 and 1/2 years

    2 years

    2 and 1/2 years

    3 years

    3 and 1/2 years

    4 years

    4 and 1/2 year

  • Post # 17
    Member
    2478 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

    I say 3, But that is only because I have been with my SO for close to 5 years and I felt that a relationship doesn’t become “REAL” until you pass the 3 year threshold. Mind you I live in NYC and What is good for me isn’t good for everyone. Our friends are getting married this weekend and I am happy for them and they have been together for just over a year. as well as our other married friends but they are Millitary and it just works out better for everyone if your married, so I get that, because those people are finanically secure already. it actually works out better financially if they are married, while most civilians (like me and my SO) have it the other way around.

    here is my breakdown of when it is “Ok to get engaged in my book”. And this is only for me. so whatever:

    Under a year:Rarely ok. special circumstances required.

    1 year: both ppl financially indipendant or 30+

    2 year: Both Financially independant

    3 years: GOOD FOR YOU! GO DO IT!

    3+ Years: DO IT ALREADY! (I am in this group)

     

    Laugh if you want

    Post # 18
    Member
    84 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

     Overall, if I know that the couple is genuinely happy, I don’t care when they get engaged.  If I know that they’re miserable, I don’t care if they’ve been dating 6 years.. I still wouldn’t be happy for them! 

     

    Yes, it does get annoying when people get engaged and you’re actively waiting, but you just have to be happy in your own relationship and not let it affect you.  

    Post # 19
    Member
    756 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think the question isnt if you would be happy for them, because it all depends on circumstance.. I did vote 1 year in general.. but i feel the question is more like: do i think it is rational 

    Post # 20
    Member
    757 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I have been with my SO for 4 years and am waiting, so I voted 5 years… because anyone who gets engaged before me having been together less time annoys me (irrationally, not that they don’t have a wonderful relationship and are totally ready).

    Post # 21
    Member
    79 posts
    Worker bee

    I get annoyed with anyone who gets a proposal when they’ve been with their SO for less time than I have. I feel jealous that their SO proposed to them and mine hasn’t proposed to me. I also get a little bit jealous of anyone younger than me who gets proposed to, because I didn’t get proposed to at that age and they did. Awful I know!

    Realistically, I can be happy for anyone who gets engaged to their SO around the 2.5 – 3 year mark, because they’ve been together long enough to know what they want and be serious about each other. Earlier than that and I’d be a little bit wary of it all falling apart, not to mention incredibly jealous. I can swallow my jealousy if they’re approaching the three year mark because I figure she’s put in enough effort and deserves for him to marry her!

    Post # 22
    Member
    858 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I’ve been with my SO for just over 3 years, and definitely will be almost 4 years at least before we get engaged (looking for a summer 2013 engagement if things go as planned). 

    Personally, I think anything over 2 years would be fine.  I am just so skeptical about entering into such a big decision. SO wanted to get engaged 3 months after we started dating!  I told him he needs to wait at least a year.  It’s only actually been since this May when things changed, and I KNEW I was ready.

    So I think it’s more so when I see couples engaged so fast, it makes me worry about their future.  I think you can learn a lot about someone in a year, but that’s (or at least for us) was the honeymoon phase.  I think the 2nd year is the most important. 

    So yes, 2 years is my minimum.

    The topic ‘When others get engaged…’ is closed to new replies.

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