When parents hate your in laws

posted 1 week ago in Married Life
Post # 46
Member
6958 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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@blushingbride2bee:  It sounds like you think it’s okay for you to say negative things about your Mother-In-Law because you think she’s horrible (she may well be, I have no idea), but the second your husband says negative things about your mother or father to you then that is somehow crossing a line. From what you described (how your mother never apologizes about anything and your father refuses to ever tell her she’s wrong or get involved) it does sound like he’s a bit of a pushover. That doesn’t mean your husband should say mean things about your dad, but maybe he’s sick of hearing all the mean things about his family out of your mouth? 

I agree with PP that even though you said you’d talk to your mother it did basically sound like you were defending her, and I think that’s why your husband was getting so irritated with you because that was probably the vibe he was getting too. 

Post # 47
Member
6958 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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@blushingbride2bee:  And if you wrote here about the horrible actions of your Mother-In-Law I doubt people would be saying you just have to sit back and take it. You don’t. It’s fully your choice if you want to just try and let it go even if you think she’s the worst just for the sake of harmony. But if you posted that your husband didn’t stick up for you or suggested you just let it go the community here would be giving you the same advice but in reverse. 

Post # 48
Member
874 posts
Busy bee

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@blushingbride2bee:  that’s all you can do. It also comes down to the fact that you didn’t choose your mom to be your life partner; you chose your husband. So for the same of your relationship, I would think he could move on if you talk to your mom, regardless of her reply. You didn’t choose your mom or her actions, so I don’t see how you can be said to be condoning anything if you’ve TRIED to talk to her. Any reasonable mother would put her pride aside for the sake of her daughter, but it sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of stubborn people, and that is very unfortunate. Makes me thankful for my no-drama mama and my laid back husband. Geesh.

Post # 49
Member
13785 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@greeneyedbee:  Sometimes there needs to be consequences for unacceptable behavior. Either that or enable it. In this case it doesn’t sound as if a reasonable conversation alone can or will send the message. 

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