Post # 1
I hope this is an appropriate section to ask this. I’ve seen posts about clever things to say when people ask you when you’re going to have children but I’m looking for a non offensive way of saying “not yet, maybe never”… and here’s why.
My Future Sister-In-Law is recently pregnant. She’s younger than me and she’s not married yet (just explaining, not judging of course!).We are pretty much in the same living situation. We’ve been married for a little over a year and we’ve had people ask us before about kids. Now I’m worried that if I say things like “we’d like to travel” or “we’re too young for that yet” I’d be pointing her out and saying that I think she’s not ready which is TOTALLY not the case!
Is it just acceptable for me to say that we aren’t ready yet?
What brought this on? We’re having a party for her soon and I’m almost certain this will come up as I’ll be hosting. I’m just trying to tell myself I’m overreacting and thinking too deeply into this. I just don’t want to offend her! So if you’ve got any suggestions please share. And if you think I’m overreacting just come out and tell me!
Post # 3
it is fine for you to say you aren’t ready yet! maybe say ‘at this stage in our lives we aren’t looking to start a family just yet’
Post # 4
You can always just say you are enjoying married life a little longer, or just that your not ready. People will push the topic no matter what and all you can do is say not yet and move on.
Some people may be ready sooner than others. While my friends were all having kids a few years ago, Darling Husband and I are just having our first. Totally unplanned and we definitely don’t feel ready, but it’s a little late now..
Post # 5
You’re overthinking this. Having a baby was obviously a priority for her, it isn’t for you. There is nothing wrong with that.
Just tell people you guys aren’t there yet. Easy peasy.
Post # 6
Don’t talk about being too young. Other than that, just say “we” a lot. “We aren’t ready”, “We would like to travel first”, “We feel this isn’t the right time”, etc.
Post # 7
PHEW! Thanks, bees. Great suggestions. I feel more comfortable when I’m prepared. You should see me at interviews!
I usually feel I have to plan my life around tip toeing through public situations as to not offend anyone. Hopefully I’m not the only one.
Post # 8
My girlfriend told everyone up front they weren’t having kids. Not something they wanted. So everyone quit asking. They’ve been married for 7 years and they announced in February they were expecting! We were all shocked needless to say but I think it was her way of avoiding people asking all the time.
I’m older and we married about 2 years ago. When people asked me I would just say one day
Post # 9
I think a simple “We don’t feel ready” should suffice. 🙂
Post # 10
I hate thisquestion I think it’s way too personal… People already ask us wheN we are having children it annoys me I just I mean just got married jeez…. Anyway how do you know the person is not desperately trying and it just doesn’t happen?? What about te people who have trouble concieving or maintaining a pregnancy? I think they would have a hard time with this question and I also feel like its asking you of you have a lot of sex. Thats just me but I answer like this “we are still practicing” it shuts themup quickly
Post # 11
I used to give a standard “it’s somewhere in the five year plan, we’ll get round to it one day”.