(Closed) When people wear jeans to weddings…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
5879 posts
Bee Keeper

@Hyperventilate:  I agree. As much as I claim to be committed to my vision and aesthetics, but if someone committed this fashion faux pas at my wedding, I don’t think I would give it a second thought. I certainly wouldnt have them escorted out. They are there to support your marriage, the arent competitors on Project Runway. No way would that be on my top three list things that can go wrong. 

 

 

 

Post # 19
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If someone wears jeans, it just makes them look bad. I certainly wouldn’t bar entry to them, sorry but I think that’s an overreaction. I’ll have to go back and watch the video, but I’ve got a sneaking suspicion one of DH’s school friends did in fact wear jeans. But since he was sitting at a table, you could hardly tell.

Post # 20
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would never turn a guest away for rocking up in jeans. I wouldn’t be thrilled with their choice but I wouldn’t take offence either. The looks from the other guests is probably “punishment” enough for them! Haha. This happens quite a bit at weddings I go to, it isn’t really a big deal.

Post # 21
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

BFD.

 

I worry what I wear, guests worry about what they wear.  

 

Do people really get themselves worked up over what their guests wear to their wedding?  If its that big of an issue, then you should specify a dress code on the invitation.  Otherwise, just be happy that your friends and family are there to celebrate with you…and they are wearing pants!

Post # 22
Member
5486 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t know how on earth someone could do that either. 

Post # 23
Member
3189 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

One of my friends wore jeans to my wedding – and surprisingly enough, this was my friend who was also in the middle of planning her own formal wedding! All of my friends who hadn’t planned weddings figured out appropriate attire, and the one you would’ve thought would be conscious of wedding etiquette did not. Go figure. But really, it didn’t bother me the day of – you are going to have way more important things going on taking up your brain space to worry about a few people in jeans.

Post # 24
Member
2880 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I just…can’t understand why people deliberately choose to ignore general principles of appropriateness. Ever. It’s one thing if it can’t be helped. I’ve been there–wound up wearing yoga pants and a hoodie to a press conference because I was out of town on pleasure when I learned about the event (late night on a Sunday so no malls open, etc) and didn’t have time to produce anything more appropriate. But come on. A wedding you’ve known about for over a month? For which you took the time to RSVP and notify the host that you’d like the $120 salmon rather than the $135 steak and you just decide “eff it, I can’t bothered to iron a pair of khakis.” It seems SO disrespectful to me. And I would be legit angry if someone showed up to my wedding dressed in that fashion. Why? Each and every one of my adult guests is a professional (or a church-goer). I’ve seen them wear some manner of at least business casual attire with my own eyes. I don’t mean something spilled in your suitcase and ruined the only suit you packed so it’s shorts or skip the ceremony. I’m just saying someone deliberately failing to tug out a pair of slacks and a button-up when they have the means, is inexcusable imo.

 

Post # 25
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Went to a wedding years ago and someone was legit wearing leggings, like strecthy black yoga pants and a tee-short/casual tunic.  I had a fancy Sweet 16 and someone was actually wearing a catsuit- she was 15!

Post # 26
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Well, my venue is actually a private club, and has a strict dress code, so any men in jeans or not wearing a collared shirt won’t actually be allowed to enter – which will be their own fault as I have specified this on our wedding site.  Not that I think anyone would anyway. 

Post # 27
Member
3069 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@Tarheelgurl:  they might think it’s appropiate because many weddings ARE fine for wearing jeans. You know, the ones that are outdoors and everyone stands around and holds a glass of beer and then after the deed is done there is BBQ.

 

 Also, I have to say that this current trend of holding receptions in a barn is an amusing conundrum–does one wear jeans? Being from Iowa, and married to a real farm boy,  I strongly associate barns and the obligatory burlap decor to require anything but fancy dress. I associate this stuff with bib overalls, please cut us some slack, haha!

 

Some of us need an attitude adjustment to fit in with the bride’s vision.

 

 

 

Post # 28
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I come from a place where a lot of people not only have pretty low standards for fancy dress, but also can’t afford it sometimes.  The only people who truly gave a damn were the teachers organizing the high school’s graduation.  Most people there just don’t dress up very often.  They’re not going to pay $100 for new fancy clothes that they’re rarely going to wear.  Hell, they’re not going to pay for the gas it takes to drive to the nearest city to get those clothes. The only time anyone cared about people wearing jeans was high school graduation, and even then a lot of people resisted.  IF they own any formal clothes there’s a good chance that they’ve outgrown them. 

 

So around here getting pissed off at someone for wearing jeans to a wedding, even a formal one, would be considered bridezilla behavior.  I’m a pretty young bride, so a lot of my friends are young as well, and I am not at all worried about someone wearing jeans.  I’ll be happy enough that they had the time and money to spend coming to my wedding.  I have friends all over NC and VA, and am having my wedding at the OBX.  

Post # 29
Member
3518 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Cynderbug:  This. The most fun I’ve had at a wedding was at one where the bride encouraged people to wear jeans and sneakers (since it was an outdoor party and she wanted people to just be comfortable.) People keep asking me what to wear to my wedding and I’m like “dude, whatever.” It’s at a nice restaurant so I tell them that, but they could all show up in daisy dukes and tiaras and I’d probably not even notice hahaha. 

Post # 30
Member
469 posts
Helper bee

My cousin’s dad assumed Destination Wedding on a beach in Punta Cana meant shorts and a t-shirt. Thankfully, his wife (couisin’s step mom) set him straight before the ceremony, so my cousin didn’t know until after they were back in the city.

Post # 31
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I once attended a wedding, where a couple showed up in SWEATPANTS and tshirts.  Now, I understand there could be situations where you don’t have the money for a suit, or nice pants/button up shirts.  BUT….you have got to be kidding me if you couldn’t even find jeans or khakis?  Jeans are bad, sweatpants? W T F?

It made ME feel awkward, like I was overdressed…how strange.

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