Post # 1
- Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016
So this threw me for a little bit of a loop tonight and since I had difficulty searching for it I figured I should just ask. Simply put, what do you do if you find that someone close to you will be or might be heavily pregnant near your wedding? Do you postpone to have them there with you? Or go ahead with your original plans?
My SO and I have our minds set in just a little over a year to get married in January. I was discussing the wedding a short bit with my cousin tonight and and she made an off-hand comment that there’s a good chance she’ll be aiming to have another baby by the end of next year. My heart sank and my immediate instinct was to postpone the wedding another year so there wouldn’t be any danger of her being heavily pregnant and not being able to travel/about to give birth and unable to come/not willing to travel with a newborn (we’re having a destination wedding, not across the country or anything but at least a day’s worth of travel by car).
However, when I discussed it with my SO a bit he wasn’t so sure…I mean, he understands, but as he explained, since we’re pretty adament about our month being January it would literally be an entire year for us to wait…plus he mentioned that even though it’s important to both of us that we have our family with us, life is always going to happen. What if we postpone only to discover my best friend is now pregnant a year later? Or my other cousin? Or whatever? We can do our best to accomodate them of course and certainly let them know how much they mean to us even if they can’t be there, but it’s not reasonable to constantly plan around everyone else’s schedule. But then again, we could still move on with our plans of moving in together and have more time to save if we postpone. I’m very conflicted and I know I need more time to discuss it with my cousin herself as well, I just figure that this is likely a very common scenario that many brides have had to figure out.
Post # 2
TwinkleBoss: You don’t postpone major life events for someone else. You shouldn’t postpone your wedding, and your cousin shouldn’t delay TTC.
The last wedding I was at, the bride’s SIL was pregnant and couldn’t attend. So they skyped in the morning. There’s almost always someone who can’t attend. So forget about trying to fit into someone else’s schedule (especially something as hard to predict as baby’s due date): plan the wedding, and I’m sure your cousin will attend if at all possible.
Post # 3
TwinkleBoss: Don’t put your life on hold. It sounds like your cousin has a timeline in mind for a baby, but things don’t always go according to the timelines we set. The TTC threads are proof of that. She could be very pregnant regardless of when you get married.
Post # 4
You can’t schedule your wedding around other people’s currently non-existent pregnancies.
What if one of your family members decides to go to school or work overseas? Are you going to postpone until they get back?
Live your lives on your schedule.
Post # 5
TwinkleBoss: Nope. In fact, we just hada friend who got married (her Maid/Matron of Honor had just given a month before the wedding) and the other Maid/Matron of Honor, bridesmaid was about to pop. She didn’t mind at all. But the dresses allowed for expansion.
Post # 6
- Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016
Thanks guys. I guess it just sort of blind-sighted me because I don’t have a very big family, I’m really close with my cousins and the sudden possibility that she might not be there gave me a knee jerk reaction to try to find any way possible to make it work out for her. I guess in my rational side agrees with you all that it’s impossible to accomodate everyone’s time tables, but my emotiona side tends to get the better of me.
Post # 7
So which January is it you are hoping to marry? 2015 or 2016? If its the first then you don’t need to worry as your cousin would already have to be pregnant by now in order to have a baby by then. If its the latter then yes, there is a chance you might be…but then again so might a lot of other people. You definitely shouldn’t stop your wedding just because she might be pregnant/just had a baby then.
Post # 8
Go ahead with your original plans for your wedding.
Post # 9
Big life events are always going to happen. Don’t postpone it. More likely than not, your cousin will be able to come anyway.
Post # 10
Absolutely not! Is she planning to wait to TTC until after your wedding? Probably not, so why would you delay your wedding because she’s TTC? There’s never a convenient time for everyone, get married when you want! We were forced to delay ours becuase of my little sister’s high school graduation (2 months after when we wanted to get married) and I really wish we didn’t.