- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
OK, as someone who went through this same thought process a year and some ago – I feel your pain. My boyfriend (now fiance) and I had talked about moving in together. I wanted to wait until we were engaged, as I was giving up a lot by moving in with him and then hoping something would happen. I owned my own home, so that meant that I had to go through the selling process, and had to find a home for my beloved cat (he is allergic). To me, giving up those two things needed more than just a “Yes, it’ll happen once we live together”. This discussion went on for probably a year when I finally said that I would move in, as last summer was approaching and that is a better time to sell a house than another season where I live.
I did ask him one day, and this was before I made the decision to move in with him, for a timeline on how long it would be until we would get engaged once I moved in. He said maybe 4-6 months. OK, at least I had something to go on. I was still skeptical, cos although I knew we weren’t going to break up, I still needed that comittment of a future together to know that what I was giving up was worth it. This was a big step for me, as I had never lived with a boyfriend before.
I moved in with him last mid-July, and my place was put on the market at the end of July. After some falling outs with potential buyers, my place finally sold in October. So, starting in November, I began helping him pay his mortgage and other bills since I was living there and didn’t have my own to stay pay at my condo. This definitely helped him financally, and he was able to pay off some debt faster had I not moved in. Thus, being able to buy an engagement ring – and he proposed last weekend.
I will admit, I did harass him about getting engaged from time to time (OK, A LOT), but so did other people. Like I said, this was a BIG step. I didn’t just want to be living with him to live with him, like as a roomie. Obviously patience prevailed and it worked out. Just communicate and have trust… it’ll work out in the end if it’s meant to be.