(Closed) When should I bring up a timeline again?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
107 posts
Blushing bee

It sounds like you are really thinking about these things a lot and it is hard when the ball isn’t in your court. I think it is totally fair, since you’ve already talked about marriage in general, to tell hm you have things on your mind and you need some tHughes about when. Just don’t try to out any pressure on!  Good luck!

Post # 4
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I can relate to you as my boyfriend has the ring and it is currently in our house somewhere! That doesnt necessarily mean there is a proposal on the near horizon, but I am sure it will be within the next 6 months.

I cant see why he would buy a ring and not intend to propose with it sometime soon, and he probably is  looking for a moment where you arent mentioning weddings so he can ‘surprise’ you. I would let it go for the time being – it has only been a month!

Post # 5
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Since you know he has the ring, I’d try to relax and give him time to make it happen. I know it’s hard, but he definitely intends to propose, so just let him do it in his own way. If it comes to 6 months without any hint of proposal, then it might be necessary to bring it up and see what he’s waiting for.

Post # 6
1390 posts
Bumble bee

When I was waiting I told Fiance exactly when he needed to propose by in order for us to get married in Spring of 2012. This was in August of 2010. I told him specifically, “I need a year for my dress. We need 15 months for the venue (DW). And if we expect family to travel to an island location, we need 18 months minimum.” I explained it in simple terms and asked if Spring 2012 was when he wanted to get married. He said yes and I told him, in no uncertan terms, that January 2011 would be the latest we could get engaged for our wedding to happen at the time and place we wanted. We actually got engaged in October but he completely understood why it needed to happen when it did…after that chat. Before it, he had no clue.

We had been to dozens of weddings. I had mentioned in passing about dresses and how long things take, etc. He did not get it. Not until I pulled up our venue and showed him how the resort was booked solid for Spring 2011 when it was still Summer 2010. Sometimes guys are too concrete and don’t get it when we hint and make vague suggestions or comments. Clearly he’s planning to propose so I think it’s perfectly reasonable for you to have this kind of planning chat. You don’t need to mention the ring or the proposal, but perhaps you can talk about when you’ll announce your engagement and start moving forward with planning.

Post # 7
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think that you should give it maybe a couple more weeks before having the timeline talk again. Why buy a ring if he doesn’t intend to propose? I think sometimes waiting makes us women really anxious and we over-analyize everything! We can sometimes also forget that he’s nervous and just wants everything to be perfect. Maybe he’s planning to surprise you with something really grand but isn’t letting on that he’s planning it. If in a few weeks, you still feel like you need to talk, I think you should bring it up. I like the suggestion artichokey made as far as give concrete reasons why you need a certain amount of time. Get his input into what he wants and then maybe you can come up with what date you would need to get engaged by in order to plan the wedding you want.

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