(Closed) when should i contact the remaining guests

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

i would be hassling people now. Some people are so rude. I HATED this part in wedding planning. I still have like 20 people who haven’t RSVPed to me and my wedding is April 13. I just added an extra table for “surprise guest”. If no one sits at it fine, if someone shows up who couldn’t manage to RSVP they can sit there.

Post # 4
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Start calling!  If you’ve got a lot of people that haven’t responded, recruit help from your mom, your fiance, whoever. 

Post # 5
387 posts
Helper bee

@jen 42713:  Ours is for 4/1, so hopefully we will get them all soon.  Luckily, we don’t have to have a total until 72 hours before the wedding.  I now take back every time I sent in a RSVP card late!  Forgive me, wedding gods!

ETA: was to is… obviously it isn’t April yet.  SMH.

Post # 7
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would start now if I were you. My RSVP date is March 31and when that date passes and I dont have your response your getting a call!!!!!

Post # 8
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My contract with my caterer says that I must have the final counts to them no later than 10 days before.  I set my RSVP Date as April 20th, the wedding is on May 19th.  I figured as soon as the RSVP by date hits, I will start making calls. 


Post # 9
387 posts
Helper bee

@sweetchiquita12:  +1.  I’ll start calling 4/2 if we haven’t gotten your RSVP.  My Mother-In-Law sent Mr. LR an e-mail saying so and so wasn’t coming, but we don’t know what that means.  Do I get my RSVP card back?  Or are they just going to take my stamp?

Post # 11
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would start calling people now! Especially if you said it is a plated dinner, you gotta know ahead of time how many people are coming!

Post # 12
387 posts
Helper bee

@jen 42713:  Not to thread jack, but OMG that irks me!  I made it idiot proof for you, and you’re not gonna put it in the mail so you can take a $.46 stamp?  SERIOUSLY?!

I say call… sometimes people just forget and need a reminder 🙂

Post # 13
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I would start calling NOW (well probably this weekend actually)

And I’d make it all friendly and such.

“Hi just calling about the Wedding as we didn’t get an RSVP back from you as of yet… and with the BIG DAY LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY… we really want to know if You & ___ be joining us as I need to get the numbers into the Caterer for how many meals to order”

This statement is friendly.

But to the point….

Time is slipping away… they missed the Deadline (altho you didn’t outright say that)

They didn’t send back the RSVP as they were supposed to (somehow some folks don’t understand this part about Etiquette… it is a required element)


You are making it clear that the Caterer needs your numbers so you can order meals.

Which also HINTS to the somewhat RUDE Guest, that this IS NOT A FREE-FOR-ALL … you are paying by the meal / per person

So if they don’t think they can make it… they should not be telling you otherwise.

Hope this helps,

PS… Have your list in hand of WHO you addressed the Invitation to.  So you can CROSS CHECK… you sent the Invite out to Martha & Mark… so you expect a reply for a MAX OF 2… and not for them to say “put us down for 4”

Good luck with this task, the worst of the worst of Wedding Planning IMO… chasing RSVPs and getting a straight YES or NO answer out of people sucks.


Post # 14
3194 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

our date is 10/12. our venue is craycray and for some reason needs our numbers by 9/18. we set an RSVP date of 8/31. i am going to start calling 8/30 and to those that haven’t RSVP’d by 9/18, i’m just going to tell them “i’m really sorry you aren’t able to join us, and we hope we can get together soon!” i’m thinking of making cards to send in the mail to these people, or something.

after reading all these threads about this on the Bee, i’m prepared to be very annoyed by my guests. -_-

Post # 15
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

ASAP!  Mine is April 20th and I gave an RSVP deadline of March 20th for this very reason!  I have given Fiance and his mom the list of people we still need on their side and I started contacting people on my side last night.  Already I’ve narrowed the list way down, but I’m still waiting on a handful of responses.  Divide and conquer, my friend!  It’s the only way 🙂

Post # 16
13295 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We waited a few days – enough days that if they mailed it on the day the RSVP was due, it would have gotten to us.  Then we started calling people.  Turns out, we had quite a few lost in the mail!

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