(Closed) When should I send out save the dates, invites, etc.?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I think your save the date date is good (I sent mine 10 months in advanced for a holiday weekend wedding).

I think the invitations and deadline seem too early. I’m sending my invitations 2 months prior and have a deadline of a few weeks prior (final count from venue is 2 weeks prior) so we have a week to talk to anyone who didn’t rsvp.

Post # 3
1281 posts
Bumble bee

I think your times look good, especially because its in between holidays so people will want more notice. We actually sent our STDs nearly a year in advance because people book their vacations early where im from and giving lots of time is the norm. I think some of the advice you read on those sites leave it way too late to send invites, because theres no way that a few weeks is enough notice for someone who has to book vacation leave and flights to attend for their whole family. 

Post # 4
1506 posts
Bumble bee

Nearly all of our guests have to travel so we sent the save the dates 11 months in advance. 

I think 10 weeks is fine for invitation. 

Post # 5
7806 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Everything but your STD date seems crazy early. I would not send invites in August (espec if you are sending everyone an STD), and mid sept RSVP deadline for dec 8 wedding is INSANELY too early. 

When are your final numbers due? Almost no vendors ever NEED final numbers a month+ ahead of time (they are not setting up the tables or ordering lettuce one month prior to your wedding), but this is your best starting point. 

SO – say your vendors need final numbers 2 weeks ahead of time. That is 11/24. Set your RSVP deadline 1-2 prior to that. Honestly, I think even 4 weeks ahead of time is a bit much, because of scheduling issues, but that is the absolutely earliest I would do an RSVP deadline. So Nov 9 as RSVP deadline. 

Putting an early RSVP deadline is going to give you more of a headache because peoples plans will change SO MUCH from sept – dec. So you’ll be going back and forth, adding, subtracting, changing, confusing your vendors and frustrating yourself. The closer to the date you can finalize your numbers, the easier it is going to be. 

If you really want people to *know* about your wedding super early, feel free to send your STDs a bit earlier (I think up to a year is fine), but dont send the invites/rsvp deadlines so early. 

Post # 8
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I moved mine up one month from everything that the websites said were standard, mostly because that is just the kinda person I am lol. I’d rather have a lil extra time in case something goes wrong. 

Post # 9
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I’d recommend sending invites at the end of September and make the RSVP date Nov. 6th. If you send the invites in August and make the RSVP date Sept, it’s more likely that guests might need to change their response which will be really fustrating for you. Making the RSVP date close to when the hotel needs to be booked it’ll remind them to do both. As far as Save the Dates go, I’d send them in February or even end of this month if you can. We sent ours 11 months in advance and A LOT of guests told us that we caught them right when they were thinking of booking a vacation that would have conflicted with our wedding. 


Post # 10
3589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Agreed that the RSVP date is much too soon. It’s about 12 weeks out from the wedding. I actually got an invitation with a similar RSVP timeline and it’s really annoying because my circumstances have actually changed a LOT since I RSVPd and booked flights! Where I live, an RSVP date 6 weeks before the wedding is acceptable and fairly standard. That’s what I did and it was plenty of time (we didn’t have to chase many RSVps at all and for those we did it was very simple). Six weeks for you would be October 27.

Post # 11
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I had a December wedding and similar venue/hotel guideline. I sent out save the dates about 9 months in advance. I forget when we sent out invites, but our RSVP due date was 1 week before final count was needed, so like 3-4 weeks before wedding. We had people coming from both coasts and overseas, so there was a lot of family outreach well in advance to see if people could come, have them book flights, and hotel room.

I learned that almost NOBODY will use the darn website for hotel info. Getting people to RSVP for hotel was like hearding cats! No matter what, I think you will need to do some outreach to ensure people that need it book it in a timely way. If they don’t, well that is on them I guess. They still can cancel their RSVP and give you time to adjust counts for food. 

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