(Closed) When should I send STD’s- family wedding conflict

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: When should I send the save the date cards?
    Whenever you want, you're over thinking this! : (26 votes)
    100 %
    At least a couple months after your brother's wedding! : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I think you’re overthinking it. It’s no big deal and won’t steal anything from your brother. I would just get them out before thanksgiving so that they don’t get lost in the Christmas card shuffle.

    Post # 5
    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    @murmur:  I agree with PP.  Don’t over think it.  You have very good reasons to send them in November.  Remote location , Christmas.  Your brother loves you and quite honestly probably won’t care.  If you want to make sure there are not any ruffled feathers you might mention to brother and his new wife that you are sending the Save-The-Date Cards in November (don’t ask, tell) and your reasoning.  I can’t see a reason in the world anyone should be upset over this but, comunication is always the best option.

    Post # 7
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Hey… You’re over thinking it all… 

    My wedding is after yours and I have sent the Save-The-Date Cards already!

    Don’t worry about stealing your brother’s thunder.. you’re getting married… it’s about you! Talk about your wedding and enjoy the process! 

    Have you talked about wedding plans with your Future Sister-In-Law at all? How does she seem to be acting?

    Post # 8
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Hey… You’re over thinking it all… 

    My wedding is after yours and I have sent the Save-The-Date Cards already!

    Don’t worry about stealing your brother’s thunder.. you’re getting married… it’s about you! Talk about your wedding and enjoy the process! 

    Have you talked about wedding plans with your Future Sister-In-Law at all? How does she seem to be acting?

    Post # 9
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Sorry that posted twice! don’t know how that happened

    Post # 10
    Member
    59 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I am getting married the week after you and I sent my Save-The-Date Cards out 2 weeks ago. I think you are over thinking it…send them. Just make sure they are scheduled to arrive after your brother’s wedding bcuz you don’t want them constantly talking about your wedding at your brothers wedding, that might be a lil inconsiderate.

    Post # 12
    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    @murmur: It sounds like you have been very considerate of them, it is your turn now.  Enjoy your day!  There is always enough love to go around at weddings.  I am getting married in December (not my first time) and my Fiance daughter just got engaged on Friday.  I hope she doesn’t feel the need to keep anything low key or quiet until December.  We can all celebrate together!!! 

    Post # 14
    Member
    3866 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @murmur: Date TWIN!!!!

    I’m finishing up our STD’s and annoying people for their addresses so we can send them out sometime this month.

    It’s typical to send STD’s out 6-12  months prior to the wedding (according to everything I’ve found online…). 

    The sooner you give a “heads-up” the sooner people can start budgeting for your wedding. 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    119 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I agree with PPs – I wouldn’t worry waiting until after your brother’s wedding. Especially if it’s a destination wedding – I actually am sending mine now and I’m two months after you, because about 60% of our guest list will have to make a 2-3 hour trip (and we picked a ridiculously popular month, I already know of two other weddings that month for some of my family and close friends!). People already know you’re engaged, so it’s not like it’s brand-new information like what happened at your FI’s cousin’s wedding, and I would even think about sending them in the next 1-2 weeks if people need to travel big distances – it’s probably going to be more helpful for them, and there’s still almost 6 weeks until your brother’s wedding, in which time people’s need to discuss your Save-The-Date Cards should have calmed down. My sister and one of our cousins both got married within two months of each other last year and it was not a big deal as to the overlapping timing of their Save-The-Date Cards, invites, etc. – we just made sure to keep their showers about six weeks apart!

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