(Closed) When should invitations go out and RSVP deadline?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

When is your headcount due? I’d go off that rather than the wedding date and work backwards from the headcount due date.

Give yourself at least 4-5 weeks between rsvp deadline and headcount deadline then mail the invites 6-8 weeks before the rsvp deadline.

For example, my headcount is due 12/1 for my 12/10 wedding. I sent my invites the last week of September and put 11/1 as the rsvp deadline. I’m a few days away from that and still waiting on about 20% of the responses to come in so I’m glad I’ll have a month to track everyone down!

ETA: I did online rsvp only so I did not have to account to mail travel time

Post # 3
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I wish I could find the source again, but I have read that invitations should be mailed 4 weeks before the RSVP deadline. Having the buffer like you plan is so helpful! A lot of our guests used the RSVP date as a mail-by date, so we probably received a couple dozen RSVPs the first few days after our deadline.

Post # 4
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee

Mailed in June for a mid September wedding. RSVP was Aug 1st and I still had to track people down. I felt a month was too short of a window to get everyone nailed down. People are always, always late with RSVP’s.

Post # 5
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Our caterer count is due 11-28, to avoid Thanksgiving harassment for RSVPs, we made the deadline for RSVPs 11-10. We sent out invites 3-4 weeks before our RSVP deadline.

I felt that we sent a little late compared to most, buuuut we send Save-The-Date Cards so in theory people knew the date almost a year in advance.

Post # 6
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

6 weeks is way too early for an RSVP deadline. People might not even know their schedules that far in advance.

I don’t personally mind when people send them early, but really more than 3 months is not necessary. I’d chat with your cake baker. They aren’t starting the cake 1 month out, so why do they need numbers so far out? I’d probably ask if you can give them soft numbers (total RSVPs – Nos), and adjust closer to the date. Most likely that will be fine.

I would see when your caterer needs a deadline. Mine was 3 weeks, but I negotiated down to 2 weeks prior. So I set my RSVP deadline 3 weeks prior, and that gives 1 week to follow up with the lates.

The issue with setting an early RSVP is that a) people might not know their schedule and miss it, making more work for you to follow up on or b) people might say yes/no and then CHANGE their rsvp after the deadline has passed because thats a ton of time for plans to change. Both are worse than just leaving the deadline until later.

Post # 7
Member
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

onceuponadream :  I like your count, but I would slim to a 2 week between deadline/count due.  If you can’t track down an RSVP in two weeks, I would mark not coming.  

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