When should the RSVP date be?

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I got married on October 18th and our RSVP date was September 6. That sounds like it was eary but i strongly suggest making it early because you will have straggelors up until the last minute. The day before our wedding (after numbers were turned in) my in-laws neighbor came by the house and said I did not send in my RSVP card but will be there can’t wait…and yes, he and his wife showed up…So early is a good thing!!

Post # 4
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m getting maarried in May and I asked for my RSVP date in March. Just in case I do get late bloomers.

Post # 5
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

For my jan 24 wedding, I made the rsvp date Dec 10. I wanted 6 weeks, especially with all the holiday mail going on. We’re still trying to get a response from a handful of people, and it’s a little frustrating. With a sit down dinner and picking certain meals, you have to be even more specific. Good luck!  

Post # 6
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Etiquette says 2 weeks prior to the date. I think people will wait until the last minute to RSVP no matter how early you make it.

Post # 7
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would think your venue would play a part in it.  Some venues need final counts a couple weeks in advance.  I would check on that, and then give maybe 2-3 weeks before that.  You know your guests better than us and can determine who and how many will be late in RSVP-ing (and how much time you want to spend hounding the late ones!)

Post # 8
Member
248 posts
Helper bee

As b2bride said, check with the venue.  Our venue doesn’t require a final count and meal choices until 4 days before so we will make the RSVP deadline 2 weeks in advance.  Personally, I’m afraid if we made it 1 or 2 months out, we might have some people who have to change plans one way or the other after their initial RSVP and it would be more difficult for them to redo their original reply. Two weeks gives us plenty of time to hound guests.

Post # 9
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009 - Small church ceremony with mountain-view log cabin reception

holy cow- I’ve never had to RSVP two months before a wedding! Two weeks is plenty, and most caterers are going to have up until a few days before the wedding to adjust your numbers. If you’re doing personalized placecards and need to know table numbers and such, you may make it earlier, but you shouldn’t need more than a month.

Post # 10
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

i’ve seen plenty of RSVP dates up to 6 weeks out.  I think thats what we are going with since 90% of our guests are from out of state and will need to make travel arrangements.  Our caterer requires a count at 2 weeks out with a final solid number one week before.  I know this is taboo, but we are also having our rsvp date so early so we can invite additional guests if we get lots of no replys.  (The taboo B List invite…)

Post # 11
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I would say 1 month at the very most. It gives you plenty of time to check on the late replies without stressing you out. Any longer than that and I’m afraid people won’t know what their schedule is that far out. 

Post # 12
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

I did about a month in advance.  Usually your caterers or venue will require some kind of catering deadline, make sure you check with them in order to get your headcount in on time! (and make your deadline a few weeks earlier than that so you can get ahold of the stragglers!)

Post # 13
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA

We got married September 20, and our reply by date was September 1.  We had sent our invitations in late July, so that gave our guests well over a month to reply. 

Once the reply date passed, we waited till the end of that week for a few stragglers to come in, and then began making phone calls or tracking people down via email to see if they were coming.  That gave us a solid two weeks to figure out seating and give our venue the final count a week before the wedding.

Post # 14
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I was originally planning for 2months ahead… but after reading everyone’s comments maybe that’s too far in advance? So now i’m thinking 6 weeks.  I know there will be stragglers… i’d prefer to give myself more time to track the stragglers down.

Post # 15
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2010

As an invitation designer, I can safely say that 95% of all my RSVP dates are 6 weeks prior to the wedding date. Hope that helps. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would say send the invitations 6-8 weeks before unless it is a travel wedding and make the RSVP 2-3 weeks before.  That is what we are planning on.  If you have gotten a good estimate of people already (I found this pretty easy to do), all you will need to worry about is the caterers and our caterers only need one week advance notice with a final count.

6 weeks sounds like an awfully long to RSVP…I wonder how early the invitations got sent out if that was the case?

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