(Closed) When should you send thank you notes?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2633 posts
Sugar bee

I’m not really sure what tradional etiquette says, but I’ve heard it’s best to send out thanks yous as soon as you start getting gifts.  Hopefully you’ll find one in your mailbox soon!

Post # 4
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I always send mine out asap, but I think the rule is a whole year to send thank you notes. Also, some couples wait until they get their pro photos back, then they use a photo card style thank you. Just a trend I’ve noticed among my friends, at least. So – I wouldn’t get irritated at your friends just yet.

Post # 6
484 posts
Helper bee

actually you don’t have a year to send a thank you note. the guests have a year to send gifts (although I think that’s a little long). thank you notes should be sent within three months of sending the gift


as Ms. Post says ideally a response should be sent immediately but a lot of couples use photo thank you cards these days so they must wait to get their CD and then order the thank you notes. That can take months after a wedding.

My personally philosophy is to send the note on stationary as soon as the gift is received. If you want to send a photo card after the wedding, people who have already received a thank you note can receive the photo card as a “thanks for coming!” card. Because of the long processing time we chose not to use a photo card.

If I decide to send christmas cards this year I will probably use a photo from our wedding (just as idea for anyone who is interested).



Post # 7
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think a lot of couples use the ‘we have a year’ rule.  I went to a wedding in early April that I still haven’t received a thank you for.  Personally, I think within 3 months is MORE than enough time.  We’ll see how I do with that!

Post # 8
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oooo one year for thank you cards? no no no. Distasteful. Just b/c you have a lot of them to write doesn’ tmean you get to take your sweet time!

I got the impression 3 months is tops. We got ours out in 2 months. It took 5 weeks to wrangle 5 freaking images from our photographer. Talk to your photog beforehand and if you want to do these, see if they will send them to you with only minor editing (seriously should only take a few minutes) or grab a friend with a good camera to get a basic one. Lots of cute ones are if the couple is holding “thanjk” and “you” signs.

I got TONS of compliments on our cards and guests who couldn’t come to the wedding just LOVED seeing a few pics of us. Not all of them are big on that thing we callt he net

Post # 9
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I plan on sending out thank you notes as soon as we get the gifts so we don’t have to do a pile at once!

Post # 10
246 posts
Helper bee

I’ve been doing my notes as presents come in and it’s a good feeling to stay current!   I know there will be plenty more after we open presents that we get at the wedding but it’s nice to get as many done as possible!

Post # 11
2680 posts
Sugar bee

We still have notes that are written and unsent (need to buy stamps) and ones that have not been written and its a little over 2 months.  Id give them some slack – they probably have alot going on since the wedding and havent had the time OR they dont know about etiquette and maybe think since she thanked you via text that that counted.  It doesnt, but I went to a wedding 2 year ago and NEVER got a thank you card. 

Post # 12
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Our wedding was 1 week ago today; I am planning on making my own TY’s and am including a photo with each from the wedding. Photos have not been received from our photog yet, so i am waiting on that. Need to purchase stationery from Paper Source still too ๐Ÿ™ I am hoping to start doing mine right away, though. But c’mon, people can’t really expect to get them within 2 weeks after the wedding! Especially if you take a honeymoon! We just got back from our mini-moon today and with all the DIYing I don’t even want to think about TY’s, ugh!

Post # 14
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I agree with the three month deadline. Although after one wedding I went to, I got a thank-you note after three day! They were good ๐Ÿ™‚

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