(Closed) When should you…

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

well I think that the invitations should go out around 2 months before the wedding and the rsvp date should be within 20-30 days before the actual date of the wedding, That way it gives the bride time to plan for anything unexpected and you can let your vendors know your head count and be prepared financially. The bridal shower is usually within the 2 month time frame before your wedding but you can have it whenever it works for you, We  had ours about a month before our wedding and then had our couples party a week or so after.

Post # 4
3575 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If you go to the knot.com…and I’m not a huge fan but I do like their ‘tools’ section. If you register, etc put in the date of your wedding, they will provide you with a countdown checklist and what you should be doing x amount of months out until the big day.  I find this and their guest list area very helpful.

Post # 5
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

As you said, each wedding is different.

Check with your venue to see when you need to get last numbers in and give yourself at least 2 weeks before that to chase up late RSVPs. I’d then send out invites a month before your RSVP date. 

That being said, we’re sending out our invites by the end of Jan for our mid-July wedding – mainly because most of our guest list will be coming from overseas and we wanted to give them all the info in the invite sooner rather than later (which ruled out giving them Save-The-Date Cards as they’re not all tech savvy enough for us to just have put a webpage on). Our RSVP date will be May 1st and we’ll send out reminder emails closer to the time about being excited to see them at our wedding, etc etc. 

Post # 6
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Typically invitations go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding date. If you are having a destination wedding or most of your guests are coming from out of town you could do 10 weeks beforehand. This will also give you time to send out invites to those you werent initially able to invite if several people are declining. If you didnt do save the dates or a lot of your guests arent already aware of the date, I would probably send them even earlier so they can make work and travel arrangements.

The bridal shower can be any time before the wedding – whatever works for you. 2 of my bridesmaids are from Atlanta and the others are all in the DC area so we will most likely have the bridal shower/bachelorette on the same weekend at a time that works for the 2 that are coming from out of town.

Post # 7
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I thnk you have gotten some great advice already. Some other sites with tools are marthstewartweddings.com and brides.com

I agree that the invites should go out 6-8 weeks in advance. The RSVP deadline will partially depend on the venue’s deadline. My venue wants a final head count 10 days before the wedding for example. I would say 3-4 before the wedding is when our RSVP deadline will be so we have some time to track down people who have not RSVPed.

Bridal showers are completely personal. Some are only women, others are jack and jill style. The timing is also completely up to you and your bridal party in my opinion.

My first bridal shower is actually in March eventhough I am a September bride. This is because my Mom will be in the USA and able to attend at that time.

Post # 8
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Send out your invites the last week in July (about 7-8 weeks before the wedding).  Have the RSVP date be 3 to 3.5 weeks before the wedding.  That way you will have a week to contact all the people who don’t RSVP.  Usually 2 weeks before the wedding is when you have to give the final head counts to your venue and caterer. 

Post # 9
11826 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

What is a Jack and Jill?  Is that like a co-ed shower?

Post # 11
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

– send out invitations for the wedding (and typically what’s the last date that guests should RSVP)?

I think typically RSVP by 1 month before, so send invitations about 2 months prior. We pushed ours back more because we were concerned with the December holidays that guests would not receive, or would forget, our invitations.

– have a bridal shower?

Mine is about 5 weeks before.

– have a Jack and Jill?

Not having one? Not sure what it is really.

Post # 12
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

i found the knot’s tools section helpful as well. having been engaged for less than 48 hours but not wanting to do much of anything in terms of planning yet but wondering what i could be doing, i found their countdown checklist really useful.

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