(Closed) When strict parents push off the wedding bells…help!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
3244 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My love, hugs and prayers for a fulfilling escape, engagement and marriage go out to the OP XXX 

Post # 47
Member
5365 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

update!!!

Post # 48
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

ksn1219:  Right? Like where is she? 

Post # 49
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

steph5565:  

+100 I think that every woman should live alone for at least a year before she marries. 

It is even more important for a woman who grew up in an oppressive and strict household. 

Post # 50
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

2muchfreetime: I wasn’t able to read through the whole thing right now, but this is basically what happened to me. My parents kept saying things like “the only reason you are engaged is because we allow it”, that we should wait at least two years, resented the fact that my boyfriend told me he was in love with me without asking for their permission and so was “going behind their backs” (that’s right, just confessing his feelings, this wasn’t even when he proposed). The list goes on,  but eventually it got very complicated and hit an all time low. 

 

We ran away together, and had a tiny wedding in his parents living room, but we are very much in love and are so very happy now. I’m not going to say that there weren’t repercussions, they sent the police to my in-laws door (who I was staying with for a couple days before we were married), saying that they feared for my safety etc, and my relationships with my entire side of the family has been thrown for a huge loop. I haven’t seen any of them since the wedding, and my parents are only in light communication with me now, although I don’t think they understand their part in what happened.

 

Anyway, honestly I think you need to be prepared to do what’s necessary for your future,  if you are truly 100% sure about your Fiance, and that he’s the one you want to be with for the rest of your lives. Don’t jump at the chance to just leave everything behind by all means, but sometimes it comes to that. 

Try counseling (we tried that, my parents lied to our counselor and so then he said he refused to finish it with us). And to be blunt but not meaning to be hurtful, if you’re going to be married you need to be able to make your own decisions for your life. If you have to pick between your Fiance and your family, and your answer is “I can’t pick him because my parents say I cant”, then maybe you actually are better off waiting. 

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