(Closed) When the bride and groom have children

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7409 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Ah yes.  Heaven forbid your daughter and her new husband have their wedding night without children, or have a honeymoon.  If you are babysiting your grandchildren too often, perhaps you should address that in general- or is it just the wedding related baby sitting that bothers you?

Post # 4
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@eeniebeans:  I don’t think what the OP asking is that shocking, really.

@lynnwin:  Is there another set of grandparents that’s able to share some of the load?  Or does your daughter have any regular babysitters?


 

Post # 6
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think what this generation of parents sometimes forget is that once you have children….you have children!  I’m not saying that they shouldn’t have their wedding night without their children, and I know some people are ok with leaving their kids at home while they vacation.  However, they should remember to be considerate to those who are taking their children for days at a time.

My parents are going to be 70 very soon and taking care of one or more little ones ain’t as easy as it used to be.

I doubt the OP needs any judgment of others or any implications that she doesn’t love spending time with her grandchildren, as she obviously mentioned that she takes them regularly as it is.

Post # 7
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

My mom offerred to help out with this but I never assumed.  Hopefully you will get a gift if not compensated for it.  Maybe suggest hiring a babysitter for the night of the wedding so MOB can enjoy the reception too?

Post # 8
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@beachbride1216:  I didn’t even catch that, she wants you to leave the reception of your own daughter’s wedding early?  That’s nice.

Post # 9
Member
7409 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Juliepants  No, it is not shocking to ask them to not wear the grandparents out.  My point was, if there ever was a time to baby sit for your kids, the wedding events might be it.  That is why I asked if perhaps they needed to address the overall babysitting arrangement- perhaps they are agreeing to babysit too much overall.  Sorry if I wasn’t clear.

Post # 10
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You know you can say “no” right?? Just as they ask often, maybe you should say no more often.

Not all couples who have children do this so your post comes off a little offensive. Both of our parents live 10 hours away so they were more than happy to take their grand-daughter on our wedding night and our honeymoon so they could spend quality time with their grand-daughter. You obviously need to speak with your daughter/son as it sounds they might be taking advantage of you.

Post # 11
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@eeniebeans:  Sorry I used “shocking” – I struggled to think of the right word and that wasn’t it.  Just the whole “heaven forbid” thing got my back up.  Hopefully the OP can talk with her daughter and sort things out soon.

Post # 12
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t have any children, (and my mother is a kidergarten teacher and my Future Mother-In-Law is a retired Pre-K teacher)… so perhaps my view of the OP is skewed, but I don’t think she intended to imply that ALL couples with children ask for too much help with child care.  I certainly don’t think she is  saying that she doesn’t love spending time with her grandkids.

This sounds much like a vent, and really, not a very selfish one.  We should ALL remember that our parents are people.  They love us very much, they are thrilled to help us, but they have their (physical) limits.  Your parents’ limits and abilities might be different than lynnwin’s, but we should try to remember that our parents (and other loved ones) can only do so much before they start to feel worn out. 

(I think this is a good reminder for other projects too. I’m getting married near my mom’s house, but live 2,000 + miles away.  But that doesn’t mean I should be asking her to do more than she can handle, just because it’s easier for me.)

Post # 14
Member
7409 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

lynnwin I pay my mother in law $660 a month to babysit our daughter.  I consider this a steal.  Now that I have more details of your story I think you are being taken advantage of!  I take back what I said! 🙂

 

Post # 15
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If they want a wedding night without children they should have married before procreating, no?  Now it’s up to them to figure that out – pay someone?  Not for good ol’ Grandma to do for free. 

I would guess that if they have kids they have other friends/relatives with kids.  Finding a babysitting service would serve them well through the whole wedding process.  Maybe a nice gift to them would be calling a few and giving them the number of one that was available during that time.  🙂  I’m sure they could split the cost with other members of the wedding party and wedding guests who also want to party all night without their kiddos. 

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