(Closed) When the couple you always thought would last…doesn’t

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
494 posts
Helper bee

You can’t base your future marriage off of anybody elses. People are really good at hiding their problems and sometimes there is something so big that the couple just cant get over. She may be saying 3 weeks but it was probably building for a while. I know people who seem perfect and have gotten divorced and others who have had nothing but problems and got married and now they are completely happy. You can never tell. I wouldnt let this damper your future wedding. People are together 50 years and get divorced. This is one situation. You and your Fiance are totally different people. And if for some reason something happens in the future, I doubt you would regret the time you had together. You cant spend your time worrying. Life has surprises for all of us and we just have to take them as they come. You will be fine.

Post # 4
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

you never know what’s going on in someone else’s relationship; there was probably a lot more going on for a lot longer than you know.  It may even have been that they got married to “fix” the relationship, who knows.  Their relationship is completely separate than yours, don’t let it bring you down.

Post # 5
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think that the notion of the “perfect” couple exists to us because we elevate them to some perfect status in our minds. But they’re not perfect, they’re human, and they’re subject to human problems just like anyone else. It doesn’t worry me when I see couples break up because that’s them, not us. 

Post # 6
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

They likely had problems before this, but just hid it well. Some couples are good about not talking about their problems with other people and hiding it. Likely it was a lot more than 3 weeks worth of issues.

I think it’s normal to feel shaken. I, like you, am completely in love with my Fiance and he is my best friend. I am totally confident in our relationship. I think you just need to make sure that you are solid and communicating. It might seem that others are, but you never know what goes on behind closed doors.

Post # 7
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

As a 22 year old bride to be I have to say that stories like these make me sad as well. Hearing all of the statistics that basically tell us we won’t last plus seeing it in situations like this really makes me scared about my future. I know I love my FH with all of my heart and I am ready to make a commitment for eternity, but clearly they had to have thought the same thing, right?

What usually makes me feel better is finding out from people who divorced exactly where they think the relationship went wrong. This helps me to identify possible problem areas and talking points with my FH. I think that if both people make a 100% effort into making it last, it will. But you have to make sure both parties are giving their all from the beginning.

Post # 8
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

that does really really suck. it probably was more then 3 weeks of problems. there was probably a ton of stuff going on before the wedding even but neither had the gusto to break it off before hand, that happened to a friend of mines ex-bf. It’s kinds like you’re so invested in it you keep going. Which of course is worse in the end, a divorce/annulement instead of a broken engagement

you need to be sure of where you and your FH are and not base it off of them. sorry about your friends though.

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