(Closed) When the ex doesn’t want the kids on an airplane)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

That’s awful and I think she’s way out of line. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@cj_one2000: i had to read your post bc this happened to my siblings and me when we were children, except my dad wanted us to fly to see my grandfather who had been battling cancer and was asking for us. My mom was against us flying bc she was afraid (she’s never flown), so she said we would all drive up. By the time we got there, he was gone. 🙁

Completely unrelated, but maybe some perspective on why it may be best to nip this in the bud now.

I wish I could come up with an alternative to flying that’s reasonable, but NC – Alaska (wow)! Greyhound is likely out. Maybe your Fiance can talk to the aunts who were going to come and see if they can talk to her? You can’t say anything. And it’s very likely she won’t be open to him.

Post # 6
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Personally I think if she is really doing it out of jealousy you should say “ok if thats what you feel is really best for the boys”  and act as though you’re ok with it and dont bring it up anymore. She may end up changing her mind. I think if you guys try to fight her on it she will feel like she is gaining some type of attention and just keep being difficult about it and keep using her custody of the boys as some sort of way to constantly cause drama 

Post # 7
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Really, there’s not much you can do if she has full custody. Kill her with kindness, tell her you respect her wishes, but just wanted her to know it would mean a lot to you if the boys could attend your wedding.

If she’s afraid of them flying- why not arrange car transportation? Someone could pick them up- it’s a huge pain in the butt, but you have to do these sort of things sometimes. I’m sure the boys could get passports to pass through Canada

Post # 8
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I agree with Maureen. Another option is setting up to ome via train. Perhaps when she hears how LONG that trip will take, she’ll change her mind.

The sad thing is, in the end, she’s only hurting her own children.

Post # 11
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

(I guess it would be sort of obvious there’s no train to Alaska, I didn’t really htink about it 🙂

I think your best bet is to accept it. Probably the kids will ask her about it and THEY have a better chance of wearing her down than you do–oh but please (and I don’t mean this to suggest that you WOULD do this, but I have to say it anyway–DH is a child of divorce and he has horror stories of his parents putting him in the middle) do not pressure the kids to ask her!

Post # 12
Member
227 posts
Helper bee

I’m with the other posters – kill her with kindness, and hope that she comes around. Maybe you can have a legal consult? I know some lawyers will do that at a lower rate then their regular rate or even for free? That way you can make an educated decision whether you want (or even have time) to pursue legal intervention now, or let it go and work on it after the wedding so that she can’t do this again.

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