Post # 1
I recently took a new job with an employer. I had to choose between two job offers, and this one put on so much pressure to make a decision within 24 hours. I just went for it since it was more money, was close to my house and offered more flexibility (which is important since I have a small child). I enjoy the people I work with, and it’s a lateral move for me, however the job is evolving into something that I did not sign up for. I was told that I would be managing x amount of people in my company for x project. That number has more than doubled and my role for this project has turned into two roles as well. apparently I will be leading my team on this project, but the clients team and being a scrum master as well. I have zero experience as a SM and feel as though I am being set up for failure. At our last meeting, ( which was supposed to be a kick off, and I found out about the evolution of my expected role literally the night before)- it was just a ton of people sitting around and telling me what they expect out of me as a manager i.e.- “check in with me everyday to make sure i’m comfortable”. I am an introvert and was very flustered and uncomfortable as this felt very confrontational. Meanwhile, neither the client or anyone in my company asked me how I felt about all of these changes. The client also keeps dropping bombs as well. They are extremely unorganized, don’t have any clear direction ( which i am willing to provide, since I’ve done this a million times) and one of my main poc’s is extremely aggressive and rude at times. I’ll ask a question and get a loud and direct response of ” I DON’T CARE”. Also, I was told that I actually needed to be on site with the client for one day a week, and that has evolved into four. This is further away from my home, doubles my commute and costs me more money (which takes away from the higher salary that i was so excited about).
I don’t want to focus on all of the negatives, however I thought I would give you guys some context. How can I level set with the company/ team and fix this? This is my first time being a direct manager for people ( i’ve always been an indirect manager, if that makes sense) and I know that there is value in this situation in some form. I want this project to be a success, and all of my past projects ( which were larger than this) have always been huge successes. The differences though, was that expectations and ‘swim lanes’ were made clear and adhered to from the beginning. To be frank, I’ll take on the additional role for experience to add to my portfolio, however I don’t want to be set up for failure. I say all of this to ask these questions:
- Should I follow up with my employer to renegotiate my salary or other benefits due to the evolution of the role and responsibilities since I’ve started ( less than a month)
- Should I cut my losses and find a new job? Recruiters and companies reach out to me weekly asking for interviews since i am in a very niche, sought after role.
- How do you guys deal with rude/aggressive colleagues or clients? Mind you, its a guy, and I’ve noticed he doesn’t talk to the men on the team this way at all.
- Any tips/resources you guys reccomend for being a successful leader would be helpful as well! I want to be a strong leader, but as a woman- sometimes when I get even remotely direct people look at me as though I’m being a “bitch”. My last boss even said I was emotional when I pushed back on reconfiguring a technology a few days before it was supposed to go live. When a male colleague agreed that it wasn’t feasible, he wasn’t called emotional :(.
You guys have always given great, direct advice in the past so I’m open to suggestions. Even if you see that I might be doing something that is contributing to the confusion, I’m open to any bit of clarity just to fix the situation. I’m literally giving myself a migraine thinking about going in the office tomorrow.
Post # 2
ladyofleisure : I’m a young professional with only limited experience in management, however a different perspective always helps so I will give it a crack 🙂
- Should I follow up with my employer to renegotiate my salary or other benefits due to the evolution of the role and responsibilities since I’ve started ( less than a month) Did you disuss pay reviews prior to accepting the job? Does it say how often pay reviews are done in your company? If so, and it’s something like 6 months, I would wait it out for the first review. If it is 12 monthly or non-scheduled reviews, I wouldn’t renegotiate salary, but I would discuss a modest increase in benefits. Where I live, travel to anywhere outside your regular office is tax deductable, you should ask your accountant if you’re not sure.
- Should I cut my losses and find a new job? Recruiters and companies reach out to me weekly asking for interviews since i am in a very niche, sought after role. Only you can answer this. What is your 5 year plan? If managing these projects is good experience for furthering your career and that is what you want, then I would stick it out, however if you are happy with the status quo of your previous job, then it might be best to look elsewhere.
- How do you guys deal with rude/aggressive colleagues or clients? Mind you, its a guy, and I’ve noticed he doesn’t talk to the men on the team this way at all. I completely understand where you are coming from here as I work in a male dominated industry. Depending on who it is/how bad and often the rudeness is, HR is a possibility, however I would typically shy away from that option as it does leave a mark against your name in a lot of cases. What I do when I deal with guys like this, is make sure I know my stuff. I present myself confidently and don’t shy away from their rudeness. I find it goes one of two ways, you earn their respect and they treat you like one of the guys, or they like you even less. Unfortunately if they don’t like this, there isn’t much you can do about it other than remain professional. Ultimately if it leads to bullying or anxiety about your job, you can either go to HR or find new employment, however its no point trying to cross that bridge until you get there. Sorry you have to deal with that 🙁
- Any tips/resources you guys reccomend for being a successful leader would be helpful as well! I want to be a strong leader, but as a woman- sometimes when I get even remotely direct people look at me as though I’m being a “bitch”. My last boss even said I was emotional when I pushed back on reconfiguring a technology a few days before it was supposed to go live. When a male colleague agreed that it wasn’t feasible, he wasn’t called emotional :(. Again this is an example of women being treated differently in the workplace, see above. As far as being a leader, I think there are a few important qualities. Work towards gaining respect from your colleagues, don’t demand it. Lead from the front and by example. Don’t ask people to do something you wouldn’t do yourself. Following up on everything is super important, whether it’s a member of your team who was off sick, or someone implementing something new. Be organised, no one can trust you to run things if you can’t keep your desk clean. Be accessible, don’t fob off clients or team members constantly. Delegate everything you can get away with not doing yourself, if you are overrun it makes you look disorganised. Use your manners with everyone.
Post # 3
Cut your losses. This will get only marginally better, even with the most careful and logical discussions with your new employer.
Then after it gets a bit better, it will devolve again. Trust me. Getting something on your resume is not worth the stress, disrespect and overload you are describing.
You sound smart, talented, competent, and in demand – don’t settle for this crap.
Post # 4
youngbrokebride : thanks so much for your insights! I don’t think that they have scheduled performance reviews- however I wouldn’t have taken the job or would have negotiated a better salary had I known these new terms. I don’t have a problem managing- but I’m just afraid I’m being set up for failure. I’ll have a chat with my boss today and see what she has to say about all of this! I’ll also take your advice about just being able to factually back up everything I have to say to the guy that I’m having said issues with! Thanks so much!!
Post # 5
katebluestone : thanks so much for your validation. I think once you get to a certain point in your career, you know your worth and don’t settle. A few years ago I would have just done as told and cowarded behind my computer until something better came along. I’m not going out that way. I’ll respond to a few recruiters today and see what they have available.
Post # 6
Good for you! Please update when you get your fabulous new position!
Post # 7
I would cut your loses. It seems like not only is the role not what you imagined but in general the company is a sh*t storm.
As far as working on being a strong leader, I would get an executive coach they can be really helpful to working through your unknown bad habbits and making you stronger in leadership.