- 2 years ago
- Wedding: City, State
He couldn’t propose because of the rain? That’s quite the loophole you’re giving him, Bee.
Here are the facts we do know:
You and your bf discussed engagement and marriage right from the beginning.
Bf always seemed enthusiastic about both.
You requested a ball park idea of when he was planning to propose, to which he replied “mid-October”.
Retroactively, bf told you that he couldn’t propose on the October day he had planned, for reasons he “couldn’t divulge”. You extrapolated that your proposal was rained out.
All of October has come and gone with no proposal.
When your resentment level got high enough, you spoke to bf about it. This should be your first, not last resort.
Bf’s response? Didn’t want to hear it.
BF consults Big Book of Lame Ass Excuses and comes up with this tried and true nugget: he can’t talk about it without “spoiling” it.
First, your bf knows exactly how you feel. He is playing dumb to duck responsibility. If he acknowledges your pain and resentment, he might be required to do something about it.
Talking about engagement and marriage “from the beginning” isn’t necessarily a good sign. You were still in your honeymoon phase, during which it’s nearly impossible to imagine things going sideways.
Lots of guys are Picture Painters. They paint pretty pictures for you about the imaginary future, including marriage and family. They’ll even let you pick out names for the kids. They are not to be taken seriously. These guys are just daydreaming out lout in the full throes of honeymoonism.
You are with someone who flat refuses to discuss your shared future. If that doesn’t change, all hope is gone.
All you can do now is talk to him, Bee. Let him know this is serious. And be ready to take care of yourself by walking away if he can’t give you what you need.