Post # 1
I am happy with my BF, most of the time. There are no big red flags and we have a similar backgrounds/upbringings/educations that I think gives us a similar outlook on life. But there are definitely things I would change about him.
I think he could be more compassionate (to me and generally others). He’s not mean or anything, but he definitely thinks of himself first and often his first reaction to situations will be about how it affects him, not us or anyone else really.
We’re a while off from TTC (like 5+ years), but we definitely talk about the future and about our future children. I still don’t know how much he’s joking, but he says things about being the last male cousin with his surname and we need to have a boy to hand it on. He has a niece who he dotes on completely, but just that and a few other comments about his favourite sports team and baby clothes for when he ‘has a son’ scares the crap out of me. I only have sisters so grew up in a very female centric house and those kind of comments just make me uncomfortable about having children, male or female, with him.
He also is just a terrible communicator. I’m his first real girlfriend, in a adult long term relationship. He’s a pretty independent guy. But any ‘awkward’ conversation just leaves him literally saying nothing and he’ll squirm and just look at me. Or worse, just pretend nothing’s been said and ignore it. It drives me crazy.
I don’t know what I’m looking for here, I don’t want to be that girl who tries to change a guy and is disappointed. I do love him.
Post # 3
I wish my fi liked to sleep in and eat less often lol
Eta: I wish he would let me spend money on high end shoes ha
Post # 4
I wish my boyfriend would play video games less and would not get in such a downward spiral when he gets upset. I try to make him happy but it’s so hard to calm him down sometimes. I also wish he tried to do the little things like I do. And I wish he had the ability to wake up at a reasonable time!!
But he’s my other half, and I’m lucky to be with him regardless of all of that!
Post # 5
I get the feeling of wishing they would do things slightly differently but not wanting to change them. I think you just need to compromise though or approach it a little differently – as wanting to help him grow as a person rather than change.
I love my SO but I just wish my he would cut his freaking hair and put more effort into his appearance. I LOVE longer hair on men, but his is too long for anyone and a bit of a turn off at times.
Post # 6
I wish FI would be on time more often
Post # 7
I wish my SO was a clean freak. And I wish he cared more about dressing up- he likes having nice things and he treasures the expensive items I’ve gotten him, but he doesn’t like going to the trouble of actually putting them on.
Post # 8
I wish FI wore jeans more often. he says he hates long pants. Well you cant wear boardshorts everywhere baby.
Post # 9
My SO needs some help with communication. If I bring something up that he doesn’t want to talk about (usually engagement/marriage), he gets defensive and spouts off all kinds of crazy things, putting it back on ME. I hate it. He apologizes after the fact and he *is* improving a little at being communicator, but it is frustrating sometimes.
Post # 10
My DH gets very annoying when he’s upset. He’s a very intelligent man, but when he’s mad, it’s constant yelling of profanity and quite honestly, it makes me giggle sometimes. I’m more of the bubbly, optimistic person. I don’t get flustered too easily, so I don’t understand where he’s coming from at times when anger arises from such a small, silly situation.
I also wish he communicated better. I’d love a call or text from him during breaks at school or work (he used to, before he got a new job), when something of importance needs to be discussed, and compliments wouldn’t be a bad thing to toss in there, either. 😛 I’m romantic, he’s not. I enjoy telling him what he means to me, he does not. He feels that these things are already “known” and do not need to be elaborated upon. Well, of course I KNOW you love me! It’s just so nice to hear that you love when I wear that dress, or rub your back, or when I smell good. Alas, communication is not a strong point in many men. Oh well! We learn to compromise, aye?
Post # 11
I wish he was more romantic, more lovey, complimented me more, put sex above sleep more, more sensitive… that kinda thing.
He’s trying its just not his strong side. Getting engaged/getting married has definitely helped him with the realization that he’s gotta put me and our relationship first but the mans still a work in progress, but then again he’d say the same about me and the fact that there still wedding stuff all over the house cus im just too lazy to clean it. :/ Gentle communication and compromise is key.
Post # 12
I wish he were into the little things that remind me that he loves me. I’m all about leaving little notes for him to find or putting cookies in the mailbox as a surprise for him. He loves it, but doesn’t do it himself. Sometimes it makes me feel like he forgets about me as soon as we aren’t in the same rroom! And that he could manage to be on time for things…
Post # 13
I wish he didn’t procrastinate so much, he gets so worked up and stressed and angry when he waited a little to long to do something…drives me nuts.
Post # 14
I wish my FI liked to sleep in. He doesn’t. However, he loves naps. Go figure. If you sleep in, you won’t need a nap!
Post # 15
the one thing that irks me, but really isnt a bad thing, is that he puts alot of others before himself. but its in a way where he assumes just because hes known someone since high school that they are a friend. or just because they are fb friends theyre his friends. hes TOO nice. its almost to a fault. but its also one of the things i love about him. i just dont like to see him get used or taken advantage of.
my only other issue is when he gets upset its usually about something so small and trivial and he gets really mad, and im like babe, its not that deep lol. its funny. i just give him his space.
Post # 16
@FatherTed: This is probably word for word exactly what I would have said too!