Post # 1
Do any of you get the thing where some person you know, but don’t know well, is talking to you and in passing calls your boyfriend/fiance your HUSBAND? How does it make you feel? How do you react?
It seems to happen to me awfully frequently. I usually get it from middle-aged or older people, who know that my Boyfriend or Best Friend of 3 years and I live together/are a solid pair. But they don’t know that we’re not yet married, and I guess don’t notice/don’t know that neither of us wears a ring. This kind of drives me insane– I WANT him to be my husband but that may take a while, and I think it would be pleasant/considerate if people would think a little before they say it. Why not use “partner” in that situation? I know that sometimes people wonder if that word is referring to a business partner, and occasionally I’ve heard concerns about implying things about a person’s sexual orientation, but that does NOT bother me or worry me, plus it would be clear of whom they were speaking. Argh.
The thing is, it may aggravate the heck out of me, but when they say that “husband” word I get a little thrill and giggle inside, too. I sometimes let the incorrect word slide, but sometimes feel the need to clarify (depending on how well I know the person, or my mood). Once I corrected someone and he (a middle-aged man) cheerfully told me that he and his “wife” had been together for 25 years but were not legally married. It seems like some older couples, if they aren’t married, use “husband” and “wife” anyway, I guess because they don’t feel they need a legal contract to tell them what kind of relationship they have, and/or because it’s easier and wards off inappropriate questions. Interesting, but I do not want to be one of those people one day– I’d like to be legally married.
Anyway, an observation on the strangeness of humankind. Your experiences? 🙂
Post # 3
Technically we are husband and wife in the legal common-law sense here in Canada. My Fiance likes to call me “the wife” to his guy friends. Officially we are fiance/fiancee, though, so that’s what I tell people. I read online about some celebrity who has been engaged for a while so they just bought and wear wedding bands and call each other husband/wife. I wouldn’t mind doing that with my Fiance but don’t have the guts 😛 It would just really confuse people. But I get all smiley when someone calls him my husband 🙂 I don’t correct if they say husband or boyfriend unless they are asking.
Post # 4
Just correct them if it bothers you. They aren’t doing it to offend you, nor do they know your personal stance on marriage, and they probably aren’t inspecting your hand for a ring.
Post # 5
I’ve only had this happen once, and that was before I was “waiting.” I blew it off. I didn’t feel like explaining myself in my super conservative Baptist town. Plus, most people who know me still remember my statement that “I’m never gettng married again” so they know not to ask. However, I totally see now how it could be hurtful.
Post # 6
I don’t like it because I feel like it will take away from the specialness once we are married, especially because its so close. When he first proposed I jokingly called him “husband” and he’d call me “wifey” but that probably happened about 5 times. It made smile like crazy when it did though. Now, I try to say “my fiance” just so that the day of I can start saying “my husband” and feel really giddy about it.
Post # 7
We’re called husband/wife and finace/fiancee all the time. We’re not officially either if you look for a ring, but certainly some documents refer to me as his fiancee (like medical emergency contact information). It doesn’t bother me at all. To me, it just represents that others in our lives acknowledge us as a dedicated couple who will be together for the rest of our lives.
Post # 8
It doesn’t actually bother me, and like BrookeBQ, in Australia we are technically husband and wife anyway. Just we havent had the formal, ceremony part of it!
I do get a bit of a thrill when it happens and I know its coming anyway, so I dont correct anyone.
Post # 9
It happens all the time. His friends will ask where the “wife” is, that kind of thing. It doens’t bother me at all
Post # 10
The only person who’s ever done this was the VP of my company. I didn’t correct him, cuz he’s the VP.
Post # 11
It pisses me off so I usually tell them that he is NOT my husband. Cause I’m a grumpy waiting bee *pout*
Post # 12
Icall him my husband when random drunks from the bar wander into the kitchen! Se beenpreceded to as husband / wife and we just blink it off. It will be true. L
Post # 13
I react really well, I like it – I dont mind at all. It makes it seem like they are accepting him as husband material and also its exciting to think about one day him being MINE!
Post # 14
I’ve had it once that I can remember right now. I was a bit like ‘:(‘ cause he isn’t. I don’t think I bothered to correct him. Then on Sunday at work my team leader asked if I was engaged cause he thought I was and my heart started beating faster and I got a swoopy stomach feeling, it was weird!
Post # 15
Lmao I get it all the time! I tend to correct them once and then quit: don’t want to sound patronising saying “actually he’s my partner” all the time and I can do without the reminder that we’re not engaged (we get enough family pressure about that)
Post # 16
I get it all the time. It upsets me a little but I don’t really correct anyone and just carry on with the conversation. I refer to him as my spouse cuz i dread the word boyfriend.