Post # 1
I became engaged this past weekend, and am not sure when to announce it at work.
Normally, I assume, that a bride-to-be would be jumping up and down and announce it to work on the very next day.
When I first started my job at my current place, my team leader *just* got married (without an engagement – it was on the whim). They wanted to keep it on the down low, but the CEO and the managers basically forced him into having a celebratory dinner with the company staff. My team leader didn’t want to do one because then everybody would have to pitch in a mandatory donation for the dinner. And these people will not take NO for an answer.
Watching him and the managers go through hell to plan this dinner has… well, left a rather negative impression on me. I just got my ring yesterday, and I’m proud to wear it but I’m also a bit paranoid that they’ll put me through the same thing! I should announce it anyway because I’ll have to change my insurance and W-2 after the marriage, but still… So, oh so very scared.
I should also note that I work at a Japanese company, where we mostly speak Japanese. My Boy is Japanese too, but his speaking skills are not at the native level. I’m so afraid that they’ll poke and prod him about that!
Am I just being whiny? Thoughts?
Post # 3
Is there a close friend you have at work that you can tell? Maybe they forced the celebratory dinner because of the marriage, and wouldnt for an engagement? You can always just wear your ring and wait til someone notices 🙂
Post # 4
I can totally appreciate your apprehension but, I think you’ll eventually have to do it so you may as well get it over with! If they find out, which unless you’re prepared to lie, that you’ve been engaged for awhile, they’ll be offended that you didn’t tell them right away.
Post # 5
Interesting! I find it odd that the staff has mandatory pitch in for party rules. Icky! I can see why you don’t want to do this. I agree with naangel55 – maybe just wait it out 😛
Post # 6
I never said anything. People just noticed my ring and I’ve been able to keep in on the DL for over a year now. I don’t talk about my wedding unless someone else brings it up.
Post # 7
I did the same thing as JoJo. I did tell a couple of people, but have kept it quiet. Especially since I’m only inviting a couple of work people.
Post # 8
Thank you all for your replies.
I ended up having to make a small announcement because my Team Leader put me in the spotlight; he basically rounded everyone up and announced that I had an announcement! So I had to fess up. It wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be, although I did get teased about it for a good hour.
I’m just hoping that I won’t have to put everyone through that ‘mandatory’ celebratory dinner!
Post # 9
I work for a japanese company and I almost had to do the dinner. But they did a collection around the office and gave us a big gift voucher instead. They are just excited for you. So take it in good grace. 🙂
Post # 10
Since I am not inviting any of my current coworkers to my wedding, I keep the details of my wedding pretty discreet. If people ask me how wedding plans are going, I just say “Great! Everything is falling into place.” Sometimes they ask specific questions (where is the reception? where are you going on your honeymoon?) and I answer as simply as I can. I work hard NOT to make a fuss about my upcoming wedding. And, I don’t feel bad at all about not inviting anyone I currently work with.