(Closed) When to ask?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
4143 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

yes, too early. I’d wait until the end of this summer at the earliest. 

Post # 3
3586 posts
Sugar bee

No it’s not to early. This will give them plenty of time to save money especially if they will be paying for dresses. i asked my girls well in advance. They paid the deposit for there hair months ago. I haven’t bugged them for anything else other than Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping which is this Saturday and my wedding is in September of this year. 

Post # 4
1552 posts
Bumble bee

Im getting married August 2016 and asked mine a few weeks ago! If you are 100% certain that the people you want to ask now are the people you will want to ask in a years time then theres no harm asking now. People often wait a bit later if they are asking many people or if they asking new friends. In those situations its best to wait incase you change your mind nearer the time. I only asked 2 girls- both close family members who I have been 100% certain would be my bridesmaids since I was about 10. 

Post # 5
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think it is too early. I hear so many stories about bridesmaid causing drama etc etc. I would wait to ask them. At least until june 2015 comes around. 

Post # 7
3035 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

Why not host a little get together on June 25th this year and invite everyone over and ask them then?

I don’t think it’s TOO early or too late… I know people started asking about who would be a bridesmaid pretty quickly after we set a date. 

Post # 9
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

You know your friends best, but personally I feel like it’s too early. No more than a year in advance, for sure. I wouldn’t have said this before coming on these boards, but I’ve read so many horror stories, and having had one years-long friendship implode (TWICE! That’s what I get for forgiving!) I now think you never know what’s going to happen!<br /><br />

But that said… if we’re talking life-long friendships where you’ve never had a serious fight- yeah, why not ask now? I’m having 5 people, all of whom I’ve been consistently close with for at least 10 years, so I’m asking them now- 8 months before my wedding. I would have done it sooner, probably, but we just booked the venue. 

Post # 10
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I don’t think there’s really a too early or too late time. It really all depends on how certain you are that you want THEM as your bridal party (which it doesn’t sound like you’re 100% confident just yet).

The only experience I have is when I was my friend’s bridesmaid last year. She asked us a year and a month before her wedding to be a part of her bridal party. In between that time, she considered dropping two girls (but only dropped 1) and added 2 more (because her Fiance added another groomsman).

Post # 11
238 posts
Helper bee

Yes I think it’s too soon  ,  it’s the better part of a year and half away. Unless you get asked outright and it’s uncomfortable to prevaricate, I’d leave it to formally ask no more than a year  out .

And , dear OP, and I mean this with the very best feelings  to you , do look at the boards re brides who get very upset because  their  bridesmaids  don’t seem excited/involved enough , early enough .  I think a very long lead time  like 18 months kind of might more easily lead to ‘situations ‘ , you know ?

Post # 12
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

jackiemargot:  like many other PPs have said wait. Especially if there are a couple you’re not 100% sure about. I would ask at the end of the summer. A lot can change even between now and then. I had my bms picked about 10 months in advance and a lot happened in that time! 

Also, be aware, the more bridesmaids the.more drama and issues scheduling. I had 5, if I could do it again I would have picked 1 witness to sign for us.

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