(Closed) When to ask? and too much for another bride to be my bridesmaid?

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would ask her anyway – if she loves you as much as you love her then she will be disappointed if you didn’t ask her.

My Maid/Matron of Honor is getting married a month before her and I am hers! I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Post # 4
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I asked my BM/MOH two years out and we haven’t confirmed the date. I set what I would like and hoped my vendors/venue could work with that, if not, I could change it…but really liked my date. 😀 But my Maid/Matron of Honor is my sis so she has to come no matter what day 😉 and the other is my best friend who been helping with the start of the planning..

I would ask her. Let her decide if she can handle it or not .

My Future Sister-In-Law didn’t ask me because my wedding was six months after her and my Future Mother-In-Law and her decided it would be too much for me..and I am really dissappointed and would have said yes. I do not think I would have any problem with it and feel really left out…

Post # 5
2485 posts
Buzzing bee

I would ask your friend anyway. Just let her know that you won’t be hurt if she feels like she wouldn’t have the time to be in your wedding and plan hers. My friend got married a few weeks ago and myself and another of the bridesmaids are both engaged. We didn’t feel like it was too much. 

As for the time frame, ask whenever you feel ready. I knew I wanted to do a destination wedding so I waited to ask my Maid/Matron of Honor (the friend who recently got married and my only bridesmaid) after we had the location/resort picked out. I wanted to make sure she felt comfortable making the trip before making her feel obligated to come. 

Post # 6
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

Definitely ask your friend anyway! My Maid/Matron of Honor got married 2 weeks before me and my roommate got married 3 weeks after me and we were all in each others’ weddings! Talk about crazy! It was so much fun planning together though! We all had such different weddings, but it helped to be able to use the same resources!

As for your Bridesmaid or Best Man question, ask when you’re ready! I couldn’t wait to ask my girls! I did it almost as soon as I got engaged!

Post # 7
1129 posts
Bumble bee

I’m in another brides’ wedding 7 weeks before mine.  Actually we BOTH are in that wedding – She specifically did not ask me to do a whole lot as a bridesmaid because I was a bride – and now I wish she had!  I wouldn’t hesitate to ask her if I were you.  🙂

Post # 8
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I would ask anyway. I got engaged b4 1 of my friends but she is getting married a month before me and im a Bridesmaid or Best Man and have no problems with it

Post # 9
13561 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’m a bridesmaid in one of my OWN bridesmaid’s weddings three weeks before I get married. I see it as super fun and special, not as a burden!

Post # 10
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I asked mine more than a year out.  It worked for me but I’ve heard horror stories from other brides.  it’s whatever you’re comfortable with.

One of my bridesmaids is getting married 8 weeks before me.  We are actually really excited to be in each other’s weddings.  It’s a really neat thing to share.  I am sending out my invites when I am home for her wedding, ha!

Post # 11
2680 posts
Sugar bee

I asked my Bridesmaid or Best Man about a year out from my wedding.  I would also ask your friend that just got engaged.  Is she getting married super close to your wedding date?  I was married in June but was also a Bridesmaid or Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor in 3 weddings August-October and had no problems with it.  All 3 girls weddings I was in were also Bridesmaid or Best Man in my wedding and they were able to attend all the stuff without a problem.

Post # 12
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I would say you shouldn’t ask until you have a date set in stone. If they don’t know when the wedding is they don’t really know what they are signing up for. As far as her being a bride don’t worry about. FOUR of my six bridesmaids had overlapping engagements with mine and we LOVE sharing the experience.

Post # 14
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Definitely ask your friend anyway, no matter if they are married, engaged, etc. If they are your friend and you want them standing up with you on your special day, definitely include them, or at least give them the option of being included.

And I feel that you can ask them anytime after the engagement, or after the date of the wedding is set. Really that is up to you and how much time you have until the wedding. Remember that dresses and alterations should be done months in advance, so it is always a good idea to ask early.

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