(Closed) When to ask attendants?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011


I asked mine right away and haven’t had any problems, but I have seen many bride to be’s on the boards that wish they would have waited because the ones they asked didn’t end up being the ones they really wanted in their wedding.

So, it is really up to you. If you want to take a chance and ask now, so you can get to planning with whoever you choose, then do so, or if you think there might be someone more reliable later on, then I would wait.

Post # 4
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think I “asked” (if you could call it that) my bridesmaids within a couple weeks of the engagement. Of course, our entire engagement will be just under eight months, so that might have something to do with it. Also, I basically just told my sister and two closest friends something along these lines: “Yeah, I’m getting married… so you’d better get your butt on a plane and in a dress and stand next to me at my wedding.” Actually, that’s what I told to one of my friends–I think I might have actually asked the other two…

It’s really up to you, though. If it’s getting uncomfortable (and you’ve already decided on your attendants), I’d go ahead and ask. Why not?

I should add that I haven’t asked the potential flower girl or her parents yet, but they just found out they’re pregnant again and due about a month before my wedding date, so I figured I’d wait a while and feel out the situation before asking.

Post # 5
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m not sure what the typical time is…but I just asked my Maid/Matron of Honor and my wedding is in 3 months!  We have a pretty short engagement period though (only 8 months total).  I think it depends on when you want to start receiving help!! and when you want to start incorporating your wedding party into your plans. 

Post # 6
23 posts
  • Wedding: August 2009

Wait until you and your fiance work out your budget because you don’t want to promise anyone they can be in the wedding if it doesn’t fit in with your overall budget. It might not seem like a big deal to add one more bridesmaid but the truth is it is and you want to make sure you include the most important people in the party first! Congratulations by the way!

Post # 7
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We waited until we had the reception site and church booked so that we knew we had room for everyone.  I didn’t want to ask and then end up at a church that could only have a couple people standing with us and have to un-ask people.

Post # 9
1313 posts
Bumble bee

I’m still waiting, but I’m in the same boat as you. I think I will wait awhile. I will ask the people I know 110% I want to be in it right away (my sister, best friend)

Post # 10
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

If I could give any advice, it would be to WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. Trust me, it sucks not being able to keep in touch with a Bridesmaid or Best Man, having a horror Bridesmaid or Best Man or a freaked out friend. Good luck!

Post # 11
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i think it depends on your situation… but i wouldn’t wait too long because people are curious! i remember waiting for my sil to ask me, i tried to be sly and when we were talking about the wedding one day flat out asked her who was going to be in the wedding party. and my other friend for some reason just assumed i knew i was going to be in her wedding, which of course i didn’t, and i was sad that i wasn’t going to be in it. but i agree with the others… make sure you know for sure before you ask!

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