Post # 62
- Wedding: County courthouse
You need to call CPS. you can even be anonymous. this child needs your help.just because CPS is involved …doesn’t mean the child will be taken from the mother. usually CPS likes to work with the parent to improve the situation. if there is no improvement in a certain timeline…CPS takes the child away. but that’s not always good either. countless children have been abused and neglected or even killed while in foster care.
Post # 63
I hate to say it but, I think you need to cut back on what you are doing for them. Until you do, no one who has the power to take the kids will. Right now you are helping her maintain good enough care that the kids won’t be taken, and they need to be taken. This woman isn’t going to change. And make it very clear once they are taken, that you will take the boy. They may be less likely to send him back to her if they know that someone is ready and willing to take him.
Post # 64
Unfortunatly I think you are right (which sucks for the children who have to go hungry). But would they send the boy to another state?
OP, I would start keeping a diary with dates and such, detailing every time you buy food or the boy eats are your house etc. Keep your reciepts too from now on. That way you can prove what YOU have done and what she had done (nothing).
Post # 65
Good job on all you have done up til now. I can understand your stress and worry about these kids. I would suggest like pp that you keep a detailed account and contact social services. Also is there anyway that you can contact the school, teachers ect to notify them of whats going on? Maybe they can watch out for them on their end. Its not fair to expect kids to be able to do good in school when they are not being fed. I dont know how it is in Texas, but in Indiana they give kids who need it food on Fridays to last them the weekends. Here its called Backpacks for Kids They get things like oatmeal, granola bars, ravoli, juices, noodles ect.. stuff they dont have to cook. Here kids aren’t allowed to miss school or be late more than 8 times without valid reason before CPS is notified. So if the school is made aware that she’s not sending them to school for stupid reasons maybe they can let her know that she has to or there are consequences. I can’t believe they havent reported her yet.
Anyway. I’m glad there’s people in the world like you. Every kid deserves to have someone they can go to when they need help.
Post # 66
I am a Social Work major. I would just like to say what an awesome thing u have done helping this child! It is best that you report it to cps no child deserves this
Post # 67
I think Im going to send her an email that I can no longer do everything for her. I will of course welcome her children to my home but that until she takes the necessary steps to help herself that I cant do everything for her. I took boxes over today and they are still on the front porch. She still hasnt brought them inside.
I have made a report to CPS, one of the army wives is going to speak to the school counselor tomorrow. I have made a detailed account with dates and things we have done to help her. I will call CPS again tomorrow and see if they want it.
I think a PP said that im bandaiding the issue and doing just enough to keep CPS from intervening and you might be right. I never thought about it like that. Perhaps if I back off and let someone else handle it then they can do what I cant do. Its just so hard for me to let go, knowing that even though she has food in the house, she wont cook, if they are sick, she wont take them to the doctor, she is losing her house and she wont help herself get started on finding a place to live.
Im truly terrified they are going to be living on the street.
Thanks everyone for the replies. Its heartbreaking for me, I have stressed all day about it. I know what I did is the right thing but it still breaks my heart to know that they might go hungry before someone will intervene.
Post # 68
Thank you, the world needs more people like you. I’m sad to say it but I was in the same position with my uncle. Finally I called and had the social worker meet me there, the best thing for my uncle. And helped him realize he needed to get his life together was getting his kids taken away. It really changed his life.
Post # 69
I have to agree with what a pp insinuated – you are putting a bandaid on this.
Currently, I think you are actually enabling her bad behaviour, not helping her grow. She knows even if she doesn’t do anything, someone else will do enough to keep her kids alive and make it look like they don’t need to be taken from her when authorities come to look at things. She has no motivation to get off her lazy, self-serving ass because she knows you will give her stuff anyhow.
I know it will be very painful to do this, but do not give her food, and let her house get empty so that is becomes obvious that she is not providing and will not provide for her kids. For their own safety, they need to be taken from her. Yes, there are scary unknowns for what happens if they are taken, but how can they be worse than knowing 100% that they will starve, end up with an abusive boyfriend around them, and not get to go to school? That’s almost a worse case scenario there, most possibilities are better than that certainty.
Step back, and let nature take its course. If you don’t, you are only delaying the inevitable for when you leave, only then there won’t be someone to advocate for the kids and tell the authorities what is happening in as much detail as you can.