(Closed) When to call it quits…

posted 8 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve been in similar situations.  It really sucks to work in that type of environment, especially during an already stressful time.  Can you look for other jobs while continue to work there? Maybe you’ll find something better and don’t have to worry about qutting and then not finding something else.  Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i would definitely start looking for and applying to other jobs. i’d be uncomfortable leaving my job without another one already lined up (especially given this economy when you hear horror stories of people being out of work for months), but it sounds like a bad situation there and if you can find something else i’d leave in a heartbeat.

Post # 6
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

wow, you really do have the boss from hell. don’t list her as a reference! do you have any personal days you can use? if you’re planning on leaving that job you might as well use them (unless you can cash them out), and you could use that time to apply for jobs/have interviews.

Post # 7
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow that is pretty crazy.  How long could you survive on one salary?  If you think that you can get by with your FI’s salary only for at least 6 months (and probably more in this economy), I would consider quitting without having something lined up.  Unfortunately, if you have to be working, you’re sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Post # 8
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Even though the economy is really bad right now, you do have your FI’s support. I think you should sit down with your Fiance and have a talk about budget and realistic expectations. Maybe you will have to postpone the wedding for a bit, but if I were you, I would, if at all possible quit this job and look for something else. Staying in this job can’t be good for your relationship with your Fiance either. And eventually, it is going to make you physically ill, if it hasn’t already.

Post # 10
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree that it will probably put a bit of a strain on your relationship but the stress you are under with this job is probably straining the relationship as well.  If you do quit, make sure that you find something to keep yourself occupied during the day when he is gone.  I’m not a big cleaning person so when I was unemployed, I wish I had a hobby or somewhere to volunteer to get me out of the house.

Post # 11
Member
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I was in this situation right before our wedding. I wasn’t getting paid much, the work wasn’t what I thought it was going to be, the work envronment was miserable (the woman I worked with most often and who was in charge was very passive agessive) and I was constantly miserable. This in turn, made me get sick right before the wedding. Darling Husband and I talked about it and I quit the day I got back from my honeymoon. I’m currently looking for and interviewing for new jobs. Yes, it’s a big scary for both of us, but it was taking a toll on my physically and emotionally and I didn’t want it to get worse and start impacting my relationship. It’s a choice that I knew I had to make. I would sit down with your Fiance and have a heart to heart and see what he thinks. Ultimately you have to do what you have to do and things will work out 🙂

Post # 13
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think if you guys make the choice as a couple and you can survive for a while without a job then you should quit. 

Post # 14
Member
683 posts
Busy bee

Maybe you should just get a temporary job- for your sanity and for a little spending money- at a grocery or coffee store- or whatever… and then maybe after the wedding.. start looking for a job- or immediately if you don’t want to wait that long?

Could you get unemployment somehow?

Post # 15
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I absolutely hated my previous job. It was my first “real” job out of college, and I started at the bottom and was a manager in a year.  I stayed for three years.  I was absolutely, positively miserable. I got screamed at, belittled, overwhelmed and taken advantage of. 

I applied for jobs like a fiend, got some job offers, but was scared to leave.  I wanted to quit so badly, but we couldn’t survive on FI’s salary alone, especially paying for a wedding.

Eventually I applied for a job, was offered the position, and weighed the pros and cons.  There really weren’t any cons, except me being a giant chicken.  I hate change, and am scared of it. Fiance urged me to take a chance, and I did.

I resigned in August, and felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  Things went from bad to worse my last two weeks (one boss told me I’d never last at my new job and that it was a joke, and the other boss wouldn’t talk to me or even acknowledge my presence.)

The point of my long story is, leaving is absolutely worth it.  I wish I could have done it earlier, but I am so much happier now.  I am NOT a dramatic person, but I would come home and cry.  I was withdrawn and honestly miserable.  I feel like a totally different person now. 

Post # 16
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

If you can survive on one salary, quit now! Your emotional health and your savings for the wedding are not worth this kind of treatment. It’s great that your fiance supports you quitting, but you mentioned that it might put strain on your relationship. What is important to discover is what assumptions your fiance holds about your quitting. Does he assume that you’ll find a new job with equal pay immediately? Talk with him about all the eventualities that might happen, such as not finding a job for a long time, finding a job that pays less, etc., and figure out how you’d deal with all of them. Once you’re on the same page, turn in your resignation, girl. It’s not getting better, and the only sensible thing to do is to get out.

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