(Closed) When to cash checks that you got for wedding/BEFORE wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
9097 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Cash them immediately. People already assume that money is gone when they balance their checkbooks. How is that tacky? ffs.

 

I then send a thank you.

Post # 17
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I always send a cashier’s check even if it’s just donating to a co-worker’s kid’s school fundraiser, because I hate outstanding checks.

Post # 18
Member
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

RosaBride:  If you don’t cash it immediately AND for whatever reason you’re planning to delay sending a thank you note, you’re going to get concerned, awkward calls asking, “Hey, did you get my card/check?” How is it thoughtful to make the gift giver wonder whether their check got to the intended recipient or whether it’s floating around in god knows whose hands?

Also, if they didn’t want you to cash it until after the wedding, they wouldn’t send it to you well in advance of the wedding. Cash it when you get it. They’ve budgeted at that point in time for that amount of money to be drawn on their account. Don’t make this situation more complicated than it needs to be.

Post # 19
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee

Another vote for cash it immediately and send the thank you note sans picture so they know you got it. 

Do you like waiting months to see if a check has cleared? Probably not. I agree with pp that if they wanted you to wait until after the wedding, they would have waited to give you the check at the wedding. 

Dont make them wonder about if you have received it or not. 

Post # 20
Member
7438 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

RosaBride:  Many people start to get annoyed when the check isn’t deposited in a timely manner, most would definitely be annoyed to wait over a month.  Even more people would prefer a timely thank you over a thank you with a picture.

As far as trying to cash them at a “convenient time”, I would hope most people enter their check into their register so that they leave money in there. If they don’t they would likely be even more annoyed that you chose to wait over a month to deposit it no matter if it’s the beginning/middle/end of the month.

Post # 21
Member
1693 posts
Bumble bee

Thank-you notes should be sent at once, preferably before you go to bed on the day you received the gift, and certainly before you use the gift or open another gift. If you cannot forego the pleasure of sending out photo-cards, then use them for any gifts that you receive after the photographer has supplied the photo-cards. For any gifts you receive before the wedding use plain stationery for the thankyou note and then; since you will have leftover photocards, use the extra photocards to send little friendly social notes, or birthday greetings, or invitations to meet for coffee, to those guests who were courteous enough to send their gifts prior to the wedding as is proper.

Post # 22
Member
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Not tacky to cash them right away. I always forget I write checks and when they aren’t cashed right away or what not – it throws off my budgeting. It’s also rude.

Also, we wrote all thank you notes as soon as we got a gift. Why? Because I’ve seen it before where a lot of people start asking if you received the gift. They worry, etc. It’s rude to wait. 

Post # 23
Member
255 posts
Helper bee

RosaBride:  I don’t think cashing them before is tacky. If it’s dated prior to the wedding then I’m cashing it. I have gotten two, both guests that couldn’t attend. I cashed them both and put them towards our DJ and Photographer. Why am I going to keep them in my pocket? they’re not going to do me any good.

Post # 24
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

I hate outstanding checks, this is why I avoid using checks as much as I can. I keep track of everything and subtract a check from my spreadsheet as soon as a write it so I’m not going to forget about it, but it’s still annoying to see the balance not being up to date. If I’m mailing a check, I want to know it got there, cashing it gives me that confirmation as well. 

As far as the thank you note goes, as long as the check is cashed so I know it was received, I wouldn’t really care about when it was sent. That said, I wouldn’t really care about having a thank you note with a picture on it either, I’d throw it away just the same. 

Post # 25
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

definitely cash them immediately…. and send a thank you note immediately. If you want to send another thank you note later (because you got cute ones with a picture) you can always send a second one

Post # 26
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

RosaBride:  I don’t think it matters all that much, and the people who gifted it to you probably won’t care either. But, just a word of warning, some banks only allow you to cash a check for a certain amount of time. 

Post # 27
Member
2507 posts
Sugar bee

definitely cash ASAP. i hate writing checks in general, because i have to wait for them to be cashed – the giver will appreciate it being cashed right away. if they didn’t want it cashed immediately, then they wouldn’t send it to you before the wedding – they’d wait to give you a card on the wedding day. so definitely cash it, BUT don’t spend that money. if (god forbid) you shouldn’t go through with the wedding, it’s appropriate to return presents – you wouldn’t want to have spent money that you need to return.

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