(Closed) When to choose bridesmaids?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

WAIT!!!!  People change, relationships change, and unfortunately weddings tend to bring out the worst in people.  Wait until about 9ish months out from the wedding to officially select wedding party members.

Post # 4
788 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Take your time! Things definitely change and sometimes the people you think you can bank on turn out to be less than reliable!

Post # 5
8389 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would wait as long as possible lol.

Post # 6
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Since you’re two years away, there’s time. I chose and asked mine within the first month of getting engaged, but that’s because we’re getting married in March 2013.

Post # 7
94 posts
Worker bee

Wait as long as possible – I totally agree and can speak from experience that things change, people change, plans change. I had problems with one Bridesmaid or Best Man who then uninvited herself after a very vocal dislike of every plan I was making.

I asked my BM’s about a year ago and looking back it was a decision made too quickly. I don’t know if it would have prevented every problem but perhaps if I had given myself time to consider who should be Bridesmaid or Best Man, I would have not chosen the Bridesmaid or Best Man who let me down. It might have been less upset for all concerned. It is really important to think carefully about who you choose

Post # 8
13 posts
  • Wedding: November 2012



If I were you, I’d TOTALLY wait.  And another thing, I wouldn’t select your Maid/Matron of Honor yet.  Pick your bridesmaids, then “promote” one of them later afte ryou see who wants to step up and who’s just in it for the title.   


Good luck!

Post # 9
3378 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Wait.  Like others have said, relationships definitely change over time.  I only had a 9 month engagement, so I picked my bridesmaids right away, but if you’re waiting longer, there’s no reason that you need to choose right now.

Post # 10
23602 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Definitely wait.  At least a year before.

Post # 11
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would highly recommend waiting. I got engaged 3 months ago, and I’m waiting to ask my girls until September.

3 of them are people that if I had gotten married at any time in the last 10 years I would have asked them… part of the reason I’m waiting is in case me being engaged changes something in our friendship, and the other part is because I dont’ want them to be beholden to me for that long as a bridesmaid.

Post # 12
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I chose 4 of my bridesmaids a few weeks after getting engaged, we knew we were having the wedding in about a year so that seemed like good timing.  I literally just asked another girl to be in my wedding party last night! She and I have been friends forever but drifted apart when she went to college.  She came to my shower on sunday and gave the sweetest, most thoughtful card ever. We went to dinner last night and I just had to ask her to join.  I felt silly asking so late (the wedding is at the end of October, so I guess it’s not that bad), but I wouldn’t feel right if she wasn’t up there with me

Post # 13
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

There was never any question in my head about who my BMs were going to be, and I asked them when we were all together over Christmas.  If you’re sure you know who you want, I don’t see any harm in asking them whenever you like, but don’t feel pressurised to pick people just because your engagement party is coming up.

Post # 14
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wait as long as you possibly can….think about asking a couple weeks before you need to think about bridesmaid dresses. People change, relationships change, and your wedding will show you who you want by your side by how people react to it. I asked my girls the day after we got engaged, and we’ve had a 3 yr engagement. 2 of my girls have been just useless – their only task was to give me their measurements so I could order and PAY for their Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, and neither complied. After 4 weeks of hounding they both gave me standard dress sizes, and neither of their dresses fit. They are now in the process of replacing them. My Maid/Matron of Honor bailed on wedding dress shopping with me, and the other has been totally MIA for EVERYTHING – it takes her weeks to get back to me on anything, and when she does she never gives me full answers. In the meantime, I’ve thought of other girls who I would like to have standing up there with me who I cannot now include in our day.

I have serious Bridesmaid or Best Man regret, and I don’t think I would have that if I’d waited.

Post # 15
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

2 years is a long time.  Perhaps wait until 10-12 months out?

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