- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2015
I thought of going anon but I’ve been hiding this from everyone so I’m hoping that the people I can truely let everything air out are on this site!
You bees have always given good and varied advice and I need some of that now.
Just as the title suggests, I have an addict mother. She is a professional and battles with serious demons. Finally diagnosed with bipolar after being misdiagnosed her whole life. I was diagnosed with bipolar about 5 years ago but we are on opposite ends of the spectrum.
My mother has always had issues and when her Father died and his new wife stole all of the inheritance and ran off, she went in to a downwards spiral. Cheated, left my Father for an abusive sociopath who in turn took advantage of het position and money and got addicted to speed. We got her out of the situation and my Father took her back. Ever since, she has had massive gambling and drug problems. I only found out about the drugs about a year ago but it had been going on for about 5 years apparently on and off.
She goes through phases of admitting she has a problem and then she has the ‘I’ve never touched drugs stop making a mountain out of an ant hill’ phases.
It has gotten to the point where I barely speak to her and she lives on the other side of the Country with the rest of my family so I don’t have to see her very often thank god.
If I confront her, she tries to act like its me having a shitty day with my bipolar so I need to go back on medication (I have been successfully managing my illness without meds for about 2 years).
My younger sister and brother live with her and my Father and my Father has basically given her an ultimatum. It’s the family or it’s the drugs. She says all the right things but never follows through and I have given up at this point.
Every time I hear her name at this point, I have an episode because I’ve got PTSD from it all. I’m only 21…so this all started when I was 16 and it has permanently changed the person I am And will ever be.
My question is, all things considered, what would you do? My wedding is November and whether she is there or not isn’t the problem, it’s that we plan on having kids soon after and Fiance wants nothing to do with her and doesn’t want her as part of their lives if this continues. I agree. But I would want the rest of my family in their lives and she comes with the package.
Keeping in mind, she is a highly regarded pathologist. A Doctor. She holds down her job fine so the addiction is not to the point where she can’t function in society. I can’t believe she has actually let things become like this. I don’t understand how someone can be so stupid. I have no empathy anymore and just hatred and hurt. We had a very close relationship before it all happened.
Please, Bees. Give me your honest thoughts. I am conflicted and hurting.