(Closed) When to disclose your salary…?

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 32
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hmmm…they say money is the most argued about thing in a marriage.  Perhaps it wouldn’t be if people were honest about it from the jump.  I guess it depends on how you will be handling bills.  Are you doing it seperately, 1 person paying the bills, having a joint account?  It’ll really become an issue if 1 person is paying a majority of the bills and someone isn’t being truthful about what they make.  I guess I feel like if you’re hiding small things now, what else is being hidden or will be hidden in your marriage?  Slipperly slope.

Post # 33
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Is there a reason you don’t want to tell him? I would be excited to share such good news!

DH and I started sharing that sort of info a few months before we moved (and moved in) together, so almost a year before getting engaged. We’d known for a while that we would get married eventually, but were waiting to start our careers and save some money before actually getting engaged and tying the knot. I would have been seriously weirded out and considered it a major red flag if he had gotten a raise without telling me after we had agreed on a budget together.

Post # 34
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Um…I honestly still don’t know what DH’s salary is, though it’s public record, so I could easily find out. We have separate finances. I don’t need to know as long as I know he is able to pay bills and doesn’t bring debt.

Post # 35
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We’ve been up front about it since the very beginning! When we first met (almost 7 years ago) he was a bit upset that I was making more than him.. well.. 7 years later and a few different jobs later I still make more than him 🙂 but we just laugh about it now!

Post # 36
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I find it so strange that you can be in a long term relationship and not know this information. Idduno maybe its just me, but in my relationship everything is layed on the table. No secrets or surprises.


Post # 37
219 posts
Helper bee

We shared our salaries as soon as we got full-time jobs, which was 3 years into our relationship (met as students).  I can’t imagine why you would keep these details hidden once you are engaged- I think it is important to go over financial details before you get married.

Post # 38
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

we’re very open about our salaries, once we decided to love together – 9 months into relationship we had to be! And now we share accounts so all very open.

I think it’s important to be open with money, you’re sharing a life together, money’s an important factor to be on the same page with 

Post # 39
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I disclosed mine, because it was public information.  I worked at a big law firm whose salaries were published on every legal website out there- right down to market bonus and benefits.

Post # 40
6109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

This sounds strange to me as well!


We knew each other’s everything financially speaking while we were dating – 9 months in?  We still have money talks often. 


However, this post is a little similar to the one where the woman had a savings account (hefty one) and wondered if she should tell her spouse.  I think the consensus actually went in the other direction?  She didn’t have to tell him?  Just curious if anyone remembers that.

Post # 41
3373 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think a husband/wife is the one person that you can tell your salary to, your bonuses, everything without it being bragging. They’re just so happy and proud of you.

I think I told DH after we’d been dating for like a year. He might have guessed how much I made before then though. We merged our accounts when we got engaged.

Post # 42
9538 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think this sounds strange at all. If money doesn’t come up as an issue, I can see how knowing your boyfriend/girlfriend’s exact salary wouldn’t come up. However, once you’re engaged, I think this information should be known and discussed. A promotion is a perfect oportunity to bring it up. So I say talk about it and use it as a conversation started to talk about his fincances as well. And congrats on the promotion!

Post # 43
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012 - Salvage One, Chicago

I found out my husband’s salary about three months into dating.  He had just switched jobs and we were drunk at dinner and somehow it came up and he asked me to guess his new salary.  After that we’ve been open about what we make.  My salary is a fraction of his so I was more reticent to divulge, but when we started living together just the two of us we divided the rent based on what we made. 🙂

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