When to do vow renewals [poll]

posted 3 years ago in Vow Renewals
  • poll: When do you want to do your vow renewals?
    >5 years : (5 votes)
    5 %
    5-10 years : (20 votes)
    21 %
    10-15 years : (27 votes)
    28 %
    15-20 years : (45 votes)
    46 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    perdley :  My gf invited me to Jamaica for her 5 year anniversary and it was AMAZING. 

    Post # 32
    Member
    745 posts
    Busy bee

    first off, I think someone needs to come up with a better name than ”vow renewal” because IMO the name makes no sense at all. Vows don’t expire-

    I’m all for having another ceremony anytime you feel like it, and make as big of a deal as you want and feel comfortable with.  If your friends and family would like to come and celebrate with you at the 1 year mark or whenever, celebrate as you see fit.If you think your friends and family wouldn’t care to be involved, then do it as you would like for just the two of you. If you decide to do this, please send me a note, I’d love to hear more! I love it when people continue to have ceremonies, I think it’s very romantic! 

    The only limit I think people should put on themselves are logistic ones. Obviously, celebrations can be expensive so most are only going to be able to have so many in their lives. Some people say vows to each other every year, either in private or with others sharing in cake and fun. I’ve spoken with more than once couple that took trips to places like Hawaii or vegas on their first anniversary and said vows again. In a few cases they bought new dresses because on the first wedding day they wore dresses their moms talked them into.  One friend of mine thinks it should be requried to have to renew your marriage license every year and review remember why you got married, thinks it helps to not take each other for granted. She’s now been married for over 25 years with 3 kids, so she’s doing something right. I think there’s something to be said for staying in love and wanting to express that love by saying vows to each other more than once in your lives.

    I know some associate vow renewals with the idea that the vows had to have been broken, and that puzzles me. Maybe some people out there have a vow renewal beause vows got broken and think this will fix it, but sometimes people have their first weddings for the same reason!  I went to school with a girl that dated a cheater for years, and was actually convinced that if they got married and said vows in front of God and family he woudln’t do it again. Guess how that turned out?

    Some may feel that it takes away from the wedding day being special,and that fine for them. I couldn’t disagree more.  Just like a lot of things, everyone is different. it’s up to you what works for you, and how you want to make your marriage memories.  🙂 I hope you make some wonderful plans that work for you, congratulations on your anniversary!

     

     

    Post # 33
    Member
    745 posts
    Busy bee

    misslucy :  really? wow.  That’s sad that you’ve only know people that had vow renewals for sad reasons. My experience has been different. I’ve only really known people that had vow renewals when they wanted to celebrate milestones and still being in love. granted, in a few cases they felt bad about their weddings and wanted to make new memories but I’ve never known a couple that did so because their vows were broken or they fell out of love. I’ve known they are out there, but I always thought that was exception, and not the norm when couples had vow renewals or other ceremonies after the first wedding.

    I feel bad for those couples that had vows dissolve, but if having another ceremony somehow worked for them, then I support their choice to do so. How did it work out for those couples, did it help?

    Am I the only one that has knows couples having Vow renewals and ceremonies to celebrate their lasting union rather than fix it?

    Post # 34
    Member
    4203 posts
    Honey bee

    keepingitreal8675309 :  I know some people have ceremonies again on 10 year anniversaries. No separation, cheating, stealing money from each other, etc. but just because it’s a milestone anniversary. I don’t wanna use the term “vow renewal” anymore as I feel it gives a negative vibe especially in this website.

    Post # 35
    Member
    740 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2020

    I have only heard of one in real life where a couple had separated (not yet divorced) and decided to get back together. They had a vow renewal with close friends and family only, who knew about their separation.

    I think they can be sweet with big milestones, like 25 or 50 years. Anything before seems a bit premature. However, I find nothing wrong with lavish anniversary parties! I guess it’s just about what you call it.

    Though really, it’s your life and your marriage so do whatever you guys feel right!

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