(Closed) When to end the hunt?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

you must call.

Post # 4
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d send a follow up email and say that you had to turn in your final numbers, and you’re sorry that they’re unable to attend your wedding.  Then mark them down as no. At least, that’s what I’d do!  But if you truly want to speak with them, you’ll have to continue trying to contact them.  I personally feel you’ve done enough work trying to get ahold of them!  People are so damn lazy with not RSVPing!

Post # 6
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with @strawbs. Not everyone checks their personal email regularly, and it’s a more passive way to try to contact someone. Call your non-responders and tell them politely but firmly that you need to know whether they intend to come because you need to give your final headcount to your venues and caterer.

Post # 7
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Divide the list, based on whose guest they are (Fi’s family, your friends, etc.), and make calls this weekend. “If we don’t get a response by DATE, we will have to mark you as a no, and will not have a place for you at the wedding.”

Post # 8
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@jackndiane:  I don’t think it’s desperate. They are the ones who are being inconsiderate to you, and you calling them to confirm yes/no is actually you being considerate to them. you could always just mark them all off as no, give the headcount to your caterer and call them to tell them WHOOPS too late!

Post # 10
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Calling is the best way. If you get voicemail or they don’t want to give a firm answer, make sure you say something like “If I don’t get any response from you by X date, I’ll have to mark you as not attending”. That way you can have your final guestlist after that date even if people aren’t polite enough to call you back.

Post # 11
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Good for you!  I second phoning and letting them know that if you don’t hear back by such-and-such-a-date, you’ll have to mark them as a no.  Take a deep breath and good luck!  You’re not desperate, you’re responsible!  This is a good idea.

Post # 12
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Some people have their MOH/mothers/MILs call. The idea is that they’re more likely to get an honest answer, as no one wants to disappoint the bride, and they may think no one will notice if they say yes and then don’t show up. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it might be a bit less awkward if someone you know can step up and do this for you.

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