Post # 1
We got A LOT of people who didn’t even bother to rsvp to the wedding. No text, no call, no response card, nothing. Many of those individuals who did not rsvp live far away and were obligatory family invites. I simply put them down as “nos.” However, there are a handful of people who live within an hour of the venue who have NOT responded at all to our invite. The rsvp deadline was last wed. I have emailed them and still no response. I feel weird hunting them down any further since it almost seems desperate. However, I am legitimately worried that a couple will show up at the venue on the day of and not have a seat or a meal. Some of these people truly live 10 minutes away from the venue and have known us for years- I just forsee that some of them may actually be coming. What should I do, bees?
Post # 4
I’d send a follow up email and say that you had to turn in your final numbers, and you’re sorry that they’re unable to attend your wedding. Then mark them down as no. At least, that’s what I’d do! But if you truly want to speak with them, you’ll have to continue trying to contact them. I personally feel you’ve done enough work trying to get ahold of them! People are so damn lazy with not RSVPing!
Post # 5
@strawbs: ugh! Part of me knows you’re right it just feels so desperate. A big part of me wants to say “screw them” but then if they show it is going to cause me so much stress on the actual wedding day because they won’t have a seat or a meal
Post # 6
I agree with @strawbs. Not everyone checks their personal email regularly, and it’s a more passive way to try to contact someone. Call your non-responders and tell them politely but firmly that you need to know whether they intend to come because you need to give your final headcount to your venues and caterer.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Divide the list, based on whose guest they are (Fi’s family, your friends, etc.), and make calls this weekend. “If we don’t get a response by DATE, we will have to mark you as a no, and will not have a place for you at the wedding.”
Post # 8
@jackndiane: I don’t think it’s desperate. They are the ones who are being inconsiderate to you, and you calling them to confirm yes/no is actually you being considerate to them. you could always just mark them all off as no, give the headcount to your caterer and call them to tell them WHOOPS too late!
Post # 9
ok that settles it. I’m gonna call. thanks bees
Post # 10
Calling is the best way. If you get voicemail or they don’t want to give a firm answer, make sure you say something like “If I don’t get any response from you by X date, I’ll have to mark you as not attending”. That way you can have your final guestlist after that date even if people aren’t polite enough to call you back.
Post # 11
Good for you! I second phoning and letting them know that if you don’t hear back by such-and-such-a-date, you’ll have to mark them as a no. Take a deep breath and good luck! You’re not desperate, you’re responsible! This is a good idea.
Post # 12
Some people have their MOH/mothers/MILs call. The idea is that they’re more likely to get an honest answer, as no one wants to disappoint the bride, and they may think no one will notice if they say yes and then don’t show up. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it might be a bit less awkward if someone you know can step up and do this for you.