(Closed) When to get married after law school

posted 5 years ago in College
  • poll: Which is the best time for a law student to get married?
    Spring break 3L : (8 votes)
    18 %
    After graduation in May : (2 votes)
    4 %
    After bar in Aug/Sept : (19 votes)
    42 %
    A year after graduation : (16 votes)
    36 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9345 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    My close friend/law school classmate got married spring break of our 3L year and then turned her bar trip into her honeymoon/bar trip and I thought that was perfect.

    After graduation is bad because you need to study for the bar. After the bar is doable, but that would mean that you’re dealing with wedding planning AND studying for the bar all summer and have to cram a wedding + honeymoon in before you start work. And then beyond that is near impossible once big law eats your life.

    Post # 3
    Member
    222 posts
    Helper bee

    Tough question.  I might recommend after starting your first job.  After school you might be crazy insane studying for the bar.  You won’t really have time to plan between bar prep class and independent studies.  You also probably won’t enjoy it much if you try to do both things at once.  Once the bar is behind you can probably relax.  Your first job is usually more forgiving during the time that you are waiting for bar results so maybe within the first 6 months after starting.  Of course, results typically come out in October or so, and if you don’t pass on your first try that could start the anxiety all over again.  Tough question.  I still vote for September-ish!

    Post # 4
    Member
    222 posts
    Helper bee

    TheGridMonster:  Agree with the comment that big law can eat up your life.  However, when you first start your job is more likely to be accomodating – at least until you get trapped into big law life, lolll (sort of kidding).  I still think that most employers are willing to work with you as long as they know your wedding was already planned for a certain day. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    9345 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Sweetcece:  I’m not sure how realistic that is. It’d be awful nice if it’s the case, but in most firms, they expect you to hit the ground running. My first week I was billing 10+ hours a day.

    Post # 6
    Member
    222 posts
    Helper bee

    Yep, trust me, I know.  I just know that with some firms you are primarily researching, writing briefs, attending depos and hearings until you wait for the bar results.  At least that is how it was with me….  I guess the short answer is that there is no perfect time b/c once your results come out (and hopefully you have good news) you will really have the hit the ground running.  Good luck!

    Post # 7
    Member
    526 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Sweetcece:  from what I know of biglaw from friends and family, your first job will not be forgiving about wedding planning and especially not about a honeymoon.  Taking anything more than a week off that first year is the equivalent of career suicide.  And nobody cares that you’re getting married.  They actually find it annoying.

    Post # 7
    Member
    526 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    mdorsogna:  if you’ve gotten the grades to get a biglaw job, the bar exam will be a breeze.  Yes, you’ll have to study, but really just in July.  (July will suck ass).  Then you’ll have all of August and September.  Most law firms offer late September/early October start dates.  

    If it were me, I’d get married in late August, go on the honeymoon and then hit the job running.

    Spring Break is also a great choice.  The third year of law school is a joke.  You’ll never have as much free time in your legal career again.  

    I wouldn’t do it after graduation, but before the bar.  Regardless of how calm you are, it will still be hanging over your head.  

    Post # 8
    Member
    3729 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    mdorsogna:  I’d do spring break. You don’t want to do wedding planning and the bar.

    I planned my wedding in a very busy time. I really didn’t enjoy it and was so stressed. I wish I planned it during a less busy time.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1310 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Are you considering a clerkship or do you plan to work right away? My friends that got married after graduation all clerked so they had a buffer. 

     

    Edit: not sure where you are goimg to school but can’t imagine asking my dean of students about wedding planning. Are you serious about that?

    Post # 11
    Member
    2239 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    My Fiance is in law school, he’s also a 2L about to start his biglaw summer associate position. We’re getting married in 5 weeks – while he’s in the midst of his summer associate position. It’s not ideal, but it works. We’re going on our honeymoon at the end of his summer position.

    Your position is a little different, though, especially because it’s likely that you’ll be the one doing the majority of the planning. FI’s (female) friend is getting married at the very beginning of 3L – like the second weekend of school. I think that would be a good time, too, but probably wouldn’t work for you. 

    If I was in your position, I think I’d do after the bar – before you start your firm position in September/October.

    Post # 12
    Member
    9345 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    mdorsogna:  Just keep in mind that however bad you think studying for the bar is going to be right now as a fresh-faced starry-eyed 2L, it will be *at least* twice as bad. You will hate your life. You will hate BARBRI. You will hate your dog. You will probably hate your Fiance. You will wear the same pair of sweatpants until someone tells you that you smell. And I guarantee the last thing you will want to deal with after your classes/outlining/studying of the day is wedding planning.

    Post # 13
    Member
    431 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2016 - Winery

    Spring break or a year after graduation. I took the CA bar last July and there is no way I could’ve handled worrying about a wedding between watching BARBRI videos and hating my life. 3L was a joke for me but you should probably still take it semi-seriously. 

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